Tales From the Crypt Presents Demon Knight

Those familiar with the "Tales From the Crypt" cable-TV series know what to expect from "Demon Knight" . . . horror laced with gleefully splattered gore, gratuitous sex, naked bimbos and a silly — and very dark — sense of humor.

But unlike the half-hour programs on the small screen (based on the ancient comic book of the same name), this big-screen version is feature-length . . . and it goes on for far too long. It's a "Tale" from the crypt — that is, one tale. Don't go in expecting an anthology of short stories.

What's more, despite the presence of such names in the credits as Robert Zemeckis ("Forrest Gump"), Walter Hill ("Geronimo") and Richard Donner ("Maverick") — all listed as executive producers — this is strictly low-rent trash.

Not that trash can't be fun, mind you. But there is no wit or cleverness here, the plot is overly familiar and the trappings bring to mind another trashy splatter flick, "The Evil Dead." (Although this one is more expensive, with better special effects.)

Framed by the bad puns ("You're no Robert Deadford") of the TV show's host, the Crypt Keeper — a sort of Muppet from hell — the film begins with a car chase, crash and explosion involving the "Demon Knight" central characters. A high-ranking agent of Satan called the Collector (Billy Zane) is chasing a guy named Brayker (William Sadler) across the country, and they crash just outside Wormwood, N.M.

There, Brayker makes his way to the Mission hotel, a boarding house filled with losers: Ex-con Jeryline (Jada Pinkett), prostitute Cordelia (Brenda Baake), manager Irene (CCH Pounder), town drunk Uncle Willy (Dick Miller), Cordelia's no-good boyfriend Roach (Thomas Church) and disgruntled ex-postal employee Wally (Charles Fleischer). Soon they are joined by local sheriffs Tupper (John Schuck) and Martel (Gary Farmer).

The plot has the Collector attempting to relieve Brayker of a mysterious "key," actually a sort of Holy Grail that has been periodically filled over the past 2,000 years with the blood of righteous men (beginning with Jesus, as we discover in flashbacks).

And once the Collector reveals his identity and summons a demon army as backup — an army that looks like the Crypt Keeper's family reunion — a truly disgusting gorefest begins.