As an actor, however, Burke is awfully stiff, and to get him to lighten up a bit, screenwriter-director Tom Holland ("Child's Play," "Fright Night") extracts a campy, over-the-top performance. In fact, Holland tries for a deadpan humorous approach through much of the film but never really pulls it off.

Instead, "Thinner" just plays out as dumb. And it doesn't help that Holland skims over characterizations, flits past plot points and doesn't develop much of anything.

This is particularly problematic with Burke's character, who isn't particularly sympathetic to begin with. But late in the film, as he decides that his "Thinner" problem is all his wife's fault and begins to imagine that she is having an affair with his doctor, he really loses sympathy points by plotting to get revenge. But is she really having an affair? Maybe, but it remains unclear as the film wraps up.

There are some enjoyable performances here — from Constantine, who seems to be having fun under his aged makeup; Joy Lentz, who is exuberant as Billy and Heidi's daughter; and especially Kari Wuhrer, who handily steals the show as a firebrand Gypsy.

But the ethnic stereotypes are unpleasant — neither Gypsies nor Italians will appreciate this one.

And worst of all, the film isn't scary and it isn't funny.

What it is, is dull.

Even King himself — in a cameo as a pharmacist named Bangor (an in-joke from the Maine resident)- seems bored by it all.

"Stephen King's Thinner" is rated R for violence, gore, profanity, vulgarity, sex and nudity (the latter being Burke in his "fat suit").