Sing

"Sing" is one of those movies that spins off of a real-life event and then submerges itself by unraveling a story that is completely unbelievable and mired in movie cliches.

The annual Brooklyn "Sing" is a sort of roadshow as high school students in the area sing, dance, perform skits and such in a competition format.

The movie spins off of this event to tell the story of students in a high school that is closing, and for no apparent reason other than spite, the board rules that the kids _ already half-way through rehearsals _ cannot compete.

Needless to say, they ready their production anyway _ a musical-comedy spoof of "Romeo and Juliet" _ and surreptitiously put it on for the judges.

The main focus is on Dominic (Peter Dobson), who looks about 25 and is more interested in following in his criminal brother's footsteps than getting through school.

Naturally, a caring teacher (Lorraine Bracco) encourages him to participate in the "Sing," and low and behold Dominic not only shows he can sing and dance, he choreographs the entire program. But that doesn't deter his criminal career, as he helps his brother rob a local diner, which just happens to be owned and operated by the family of the girl he loves from afar.

Meanwhile, "good-girl" Jessica Steen, whose overbearing mother (Louise Lasser) disapproves of Dominic, goes on with the show and hopes Dominic will come around.

The plot sounds dumb enough in this description, but a ridiculous abundance of predictable twists and turns make it even more insufferable in the viewing. The holes in this story are too numerous to mention; suffice it to say you will often be scratching your head in amazement that you are expected to buy some of this idiocy.

Steen is an appealing young actress and Dobson tries hard with what he's given to do, but they make the least likely screen couple since Fay Wray and King Kong. And Wray and Kong had more chemistry.

What's more, the talents of Lorraine Bracco ("Someone to Watch Over Me," the upcoming "The Dream Team") and singer Patti LaBelle as teachers are utterly wasted.

The dancing _ especially an absurd "combat dance" between Dobson and Bradcco _ looks more like aerobics mixed with karate, and the music seldom gets better than just OK.

Brooklyn's annual "Sing" might make an interesting backdrop for a movie one day, but this inferior "Fame" ripoff ain't it.

"Sing" is rated PG-13 for violence, profanity, vulgarity and sex.