If Walt Disney Pictures officials want to apologize to everyone who may take offense at "Mr. Magoo," they'll need more than just a one-minute, on-screen disclaimer to do it.

Among those who will be insulted by this painfully unfunny comedy are women, the elderly and members of several ethnicities, as well as moviegoers with even the slightest modicum of taste. (In fact, the most humorous part of "Mr. Magoo" is the disclaimer that follows it, in which the filmmakers acknowledge that the film may offend the vision-impaired, who may not be able to see the movie or disclaimer in the first place.)

What's most surprising about the movie is the fact that it got made in the first place. Granted, the cartoon was thought to be funny for its time. But the '90s are more politically correct times, and the idea's not nearly amusing enough to be translated from animation to live-action.

Another warning sign for the producers should have been the presence of star Leslie Nielsen, who hasn't made a funny film in years. He and veteran Hong Kong action director Stanley Tong make a powerful formula for disaster.

When he's actually in character, Nielsen stars as Quincy Magoo, an extremely nearsighted millionaire who miraculously survives the dangerous situations he keeps stumbling into. During an unveiling ceremony for the priceless Star of Kuristan ruby, Magoo actually winds up swiping the gem from a pair of international jewel thieves (Kelly Lynch and Nick Chinlund).

And while those two are busy trying to infiltrate his mansion to find the ruby, Magoo becomes the subject of a manhunt, though he continues to evade the bumbling investigators (Stephen Tobolowsky and Ernie Hudson) on his trail.

After what seems like hours of lame visual gags, Magoo is forced to imitate a notorious mobster in order to retrieve the gem, now in the possession of evil Austin Cloquet (Malcolm McDowell).

The action-filled finale isn't any better than what preceded it. And things are worsened by Tong's seeming lack of control of his actors, none of whom are remotely funny.

Worst of all is Nielsen, who doesn't seem to know who he's playing from scene to scene. In fact, he's actually more annoying when he tries to replicate Jim Backus' Magoo cackle.

"Mr. Magoo" is rated PG for slapstick violence, vulgar gags (more than you'd expect in a "children's" movie) and shots of women in skimpy swimsuits.