First Knight

If it was more honest, "First Knight" might be titled "Lancelot Jones and the Castle of Doom." In fact, this latest retelling of the Arthur-Guinevere-Lancelot triangle has so many wild cliffhanger situations that you may expect the film's action to stop at some point as "To Be Continued . . . " pops up on the screen.

On the other hand, the only thing that seems more ridiculous than casting Richard Gere as Indiana Jones is casting Richard Gere as Lancelot — and here, you get both!

"First Knight" has him running around medieval England, rescuing Guinevere every time she is attacked or kidnapped — which is more than any cinematic heroine since "The Perils of Pauline."

It helps, however, that Guinevere is played by Julia Ormond ("Legends of the Fall"), who tries valiantly to build something from the superficial script, which sees her character as merely a feminist revision. It helps even more that Arthur gets a dose of dignity from Sean Connery, in what is essentially the third lead (despite his top billing). But it becomes apparent that Connery is stymied by his bland dialogue, and even he begins to look quite stiff, as opposed to regal.

"First Knight" is all turgid romance and impossible action. And Gere is all brooding and sullen as Lancelot, who roams the countryside without a care as to whether he lives or dies, earning meager ducats by demonstrating his talents with a sword. But when he gets an opportunity to rescue Guinevere for the first time, he knows he'll never want to rescue anyone else again. (And he won't have to, since she gets into enough trouble to keep an army of rescuers busy.)

Alas, Guinevere is off to wed Arthur, to unite their kingdoms and make a stand against evil Malagant (Ben Cross, who steals the show in scenery-chewing fashion). It seems Malagant is a fallen knight, who wants revenge against Arthur — and as much land and power as he can steal. And once you see where he lives — in a burned-out castle with all kinds of fiendish devices at hand — you'll understand why he covets Camelot.

As for the plot . . . Guinevere is attracted to Lancelot, who pursues her, but is loyal to the king to whom she is betrothed. And when Lancelot finally becomes a knight at the Round Table and Guinevere finally becomes the queen, the betrayal comes in the form of a kiss. OK, it's a kiss so forceful that Lancelot almost knocks Guinevere down, but that's all it is.