Anaconda

But he gets no help from the screenplay's three writers, who throw in ridiculous dialogue with abandon. "It's no good to me dead," Voight shouts as his shipmates try to protect themselves. "Hey, is that real dynamite?" Wilson asks Voight as he unloads some explosives. The ultimate romantic, Wilson also asks Wuhrer, "Is it just me, or does the jungle make you really, really horny?" Apparently it does, as she seduces him when they go out into the jungle, just before being attacked in the night, of course.

Best — or worst — of all, however, is Voight, who juts out his jaw like a low-rent Billy Bob Thornton in "Sling Blade," adopts a sort of cajun "Godfather" accent and occasionally has his face partly in shadow to resemble another Brando character, Col. Kurtz in "Apocalypse Now." Close-ups of his perpetual sneer and a wink at the end tell us he realizes how horrible it all is and that perhaps he is the only who realizes it has reached the level of unintentional comedy.

While Lopez (who also stars in the current film "Selena") and Cube may, in the future, consider this an embarrassing step backward, Stoltz spends so much time below deck in a coma that the audience virtually forgets about him.

And my guess is that his future filmographies will forget all about this reptile turkey.

"Anaconda" is rated PG-13 violence, gore, profanity, vulgarity, sex, native nudity.