"Absolute Power" starts with a slow-building bang, as a master jewel thief named Luther Whitney (Clint Eastwood) — who is also a talented artist — prepares to enter a darkened mansion just outside Washington, D.C. He goes in, disarms the high-tech security system and locates a walk-in safe hidden behind a one-way mirror that gives him full view of the master bedroom.

It's a lengthy, meticulous and risky sequence, meant to set the tone for a thoughtful thriller. Sadly, any lofty artistic aspirations are quickly undone by the sheer ill-advised audacity of the story.

At this point, the reader should stand warned that if you plan to see this movie you might not want to read any further. I am about to give away a major plot point (albeit one that is also revealed in the film's theatrical previews).

As Luther is in the throes of stealing jewelry and cash, he hears voices coming up the stairs and quickly shuts himself inside the safe. There, he sits in a chair and watches as a drunken couple (Gene Hackman and Melora Hardin) enters the bedroom and sexual foreplay quickly turns ugly.

Hackman gets quite violent, slapping Hardin around, and then, as he attempts to rape her, she manages to get the upper hand and grabs a letter-opener. As she is about to stab him, Hackman shouts. Two men (Scott Glenn, Dennis Haysbert) burst into the room and shoot her to death. Another woman (Judy Davis) comes in, and she gives the orders as the two gunmen clean up the mess and discuss how they can cover up the truth about the killing.

At this point, it becomes apparent that Luther recognizes these people and seems to know what's going on. But the audience is kept in the dark (except for those who have seen that preview).

And eventually it will be revealed that Gene Hackman's character is no less than the president of the United States! Glenn and Haysbert are his top Secret Service agents! And Davis is his chief of staff! Yikes!

You know political bashing in the movies has gone a step too far when the president is portrayed as a psychotic would-be rapist-killer. And that's the biggest problem (though there are others). It's just impossible to get into this premise, especially since it is supported with a stupefying lack of logic.

The rest of the film has Luther struggling with his conscience. Should he tell the truth to the police detective (Ed Harris) who is investigating the case (especially since he has the incriminating letter-opener in his possession)? Should he tell his estranged daughter (Laura Linney), a local prosecutor? Or should he just run away, using one of the many disguises for which he is famous?

You can guess where it goes from here.

The best scene in the movie is a moment when Harris and East-wood face off in a bar, a witty sequence that shows they have terrific chemistry. (They should consider doing a good movie together sometime.)

But most of the way this is predictable and unexciting stuff . . . although it does reach a level of unexpected camp silliness during a presidential reception when Hackman and Davis exchange secret information while dancing.

It's hard to believe Eastwood directed this one himself from a script by the venerable William Goldman (a double Oscar-winner for "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and "All the President's Men").

What were they thinking?

"Absolute Power" is rated R for violence, attempted rape, sex, profanity, vulgarity and some nude drawings.