But I truly saw something in Carlos: I saw a leader. The first thing I did was change the seating from traditional rows to groups of five desks, and made Carlos a group leader. Then I briefly showed Popcorn Party jars and explained that each time their group was following rules, behaving well, listening and doing, etc., I would add popcorn kernels to their jar, as well as other privileges.

Almost immediately, Carlos took to leading his group in modeling the behavior. When I would pause during an explanation, indicating the need for quiet, Carlos was the first to fold his arms and shush his group, telling them to be quiet and listen up. He did a variety of responsibilities and small jobs and did them well. Soon, he stopped going to resource.

Sometimes what you and I, and children or neighbors or cranky co-workers, really need is a little Tom Smith. We need someone to see inside our soul and look beyond the outward behavior — to make a stall more roomy, bring in a trusted friend, or shower us with a little affection. I invite you this week to choose someone who may be troublesome in your life, and to see him or her as a Tom Smith would. And just maybe you will nurture and develop a legendary winner.

LIFETip: Choose one way you can see and nurture the good in a troublesome person in your life.

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E-mail: info@LIFEChangeProgram.com