So you're a Utah Jazz fan, but not one of the elite 19,911 who will be at EnergySolutions Arena for playoff games? And your significant other won't let you borrow on your 401(k) so you can hit the road with your favorite team this postseason?

No need to despair. We're here to help enhance your non-venue viewing experience and to help, well, jazz up your postseason from the really cheap seats. These tips could make you happy that you don't have to hang out with your bragging buddy in the nosebleed section:

Look on the bright side

Obviously, there's an added element of excitement when you get to attend a game in person. If not, fans wouldn't take out a third mortgage to buy tickets (and, yes, we're talking for Jazz games, not for Hannah Montana).

But there are some benefits of not watching the game in the arena. A few include:

• No bathroom lines — and no stepping over/on people and kicking over drinks to get to the aisle that leads you to the line that you hope eventually leads you into the restroom.

• You won't have to start shopping for hearing aids if you forget to wear your earplugs.

• No need to pay $15 parking fees or swear about getting a towing boot attached to a tire if your "unbelievable free parking spot" was indeed too good to be true.

• On a related note, you're spared from listening/smashing your fingers into your eardrums/running from the building in agony when Jazz fans in the arena massacre karaoke songs during a painful timeout promotion.

• Bear can't plaster you with a can of stringy fluorescent spray.

• Upset fans can't plaster you with a cup of beer.

• Don't have to explain to your kids what those four-letter words exiting a certain salty-tongued coach's mouth mean.

• Nobody tries to sign you up for a credit card in exchange for a low-quality T-shirt.

• No rushing to avoid traffic — to get the bathroom (again!) and to your car (that you hope didn't get a towing boot).

Throw your own party

For a more intimate postseason atmosphere, just bring the party to your house — and don't invite a certain 19,911. Basically, you really only need three things for a successful sports party — and, don't worry, doilies with Jazz colors aren't one of them. All you need is a TV (one with cable or satellite that's made after the Stockton-to-Malone era if possible), some people (not fans of the opposing team unless your sometimes-annoying Lakers fan friend can agree to be civil) and food (the most important of the three, of course).