We settled into a routine of taking breakfast and lunch in the huge buffet restaurant, which had a mixture of the common items you might find in a casino buffet, plus a few exotic items apparently common to Mexico. My 12-year old became enamored of Zucharitas (Sugar-Frosted Flakes), which he liked to say.

The second day it was tennis in the morning, before the real heat began, and then plenty of time swimming in the ocean. We rode boogie boards. Even though I wore a shirt, the hair was peeled off my chest and stomach by the sandy bottom of the bay.

We shared Marival with a lot of Americans, including what seemed to be entire classes of California high schoolers on their senior trip. Kids also filled the resort's disco, Cesar, which did not open until 11 p.m. each night and featured mobs of kids dancing to rap music.

Here's the thing about these giant resorts: You can't be turned off by the sight of your fellow Americans lining up for food all day long. If being in the company of sunburnt salesmen wearing Tommy Bahama shirts and sandals that leave their fat toes exposed offends you, better book a backcountry hike in Patagonia.

For me, the place was perfect. The kids didn't have to constantly beg for money. They could snack whenever they wanted. There was a gym, game room, numerous recreational facilities, kids' programs, cooking classes. We never ran out of stuff to do, even with kids who were 20, 17, 12 and 10 years old.

Our family was so overdue for a vacation that we barely left the resort the five days we were there.

One day we booked an excursion into the jungle around Puerto Vallarta for a morning of riding zip lines high up in the tree canopy. For someone who fears heights, it was quite a bit of fun. On the way back, we had the bus drop us in downtown PV (as we seasoned travelers call it), where we hit the tourist shops along the river.

I turned out to be a terrible haggler, paying 300 pesos — about $28 — for a sombrero I later found out was worth half that.

The kids tired quickly of shopping, and we took cabs back to the resort, where we spent the afternoon in the ocean again.

The little shops in the resort weren't bad for souvenirs and some essentials. The nightlife was good, with numerous musical acts in the bars of the resort.

The place also had a deal with a local golf course, and you could go out each morning to hit on a driving range and have a group lesson with a pro, without extra cost.

I realize this must sound like hell to many travelers. But being able to turn the children loose on the resort grounds and know they would be entertained and fed was a joy. Not having to fight over where to eat each night was a gift.