It's on/it's off

The secret is out. "Secret Talents of the Stars" is one and done.

Yes, the dreadfully misconceived reality show has been canceled after but a single airing. Which means we won't have the chance to see George Takei sing country music or Sasha Cohen twist herself in various grotesque contortions anymore.

Who would have thought that American television viewers would have little to no interest in watching "stars" (i.e. minor celebrities, for the most part) attempt to perform in fields outside their area of expertise.

What's astonishing is that anybody at CBS thought this could work.

CBS will air installments of "48 Hours Mystery" on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. Beginning April 29, "Shark," which was supposed to return on that date at 8 p.m., will instead air at 9 p.m. Repeats of "The Unit" return at 8 p.m.

IT USED TO BE that it was rare for a TV show to be canceled after airing only one episode, but "Secret Talents of the Stars" is the third to suffer that fate in less than eight months.

Fox's reality show "Anchorwoman" got the hook last August; NBC's borrowed-from-the-Internet "quarterlife" was yanked in February. (Although five more episodes were aired in a minimarathon on NBC sister-channel Bravo).

Not every show that was one and done was bad. No, "quarterlife" wasn't bad. And the one episode of the 2006 Heather Graham's "Emily's Reasons Why Not" that aired in 2006 was pretty good. (Although word was that the writers exhausted all their talent in that half-hour.)

But most were embarrassingly bad. Way back in 1961, Jackie Gleason apologized on-air for the game show "You're in the Picture," which he hosted.

Other one-and-dones include:

• "Turn-On" (1969) was not actually canceled in the middle of its only episode, although a number of ABC affiliates did flip the switch and kill the show. The network itself waited until after this somewhat racier version of "Laugh-In" was over to pull the plug.

• "Co-Ed Fever " (1979) was CBS's attempt to capitalize on the theatrical success of "Animal House." It was the least successful of three attempts in '79 — NBC's "Brothers and Sisters" lasted 12 episodes; ABC's "Delta House" last 15 episodes.

• "South of Sunset" (1993) was a lame detective show that starred Glenn Frey of the rock band The Eagles and 18-year-old Aries Spears (in his pre-"MADtv" days) as his sidekick.