Those who do tell often aren't believed. For a host of complicated reasons, family members who learn of abuse often don't take action, and this further piles on the insult of abuse, victims say.

At a children's counseling center, a mother who agreed to allow a reporter to observe her 11-year-old daughter's recent treatment for sex abuse told the visitor she didn't know her husband was assaulting the girl. But in with the therapist, the girl said she had told her mom, but that her mother hadn't taken action then and was trying to figure out "what to do."

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What is so tricky about this kind of crime, say victims and their advocates, is the insidious ways the consequences of abuse show up.

Adult victims lose their sense of safety. They no longer view the world as a safe place. Those feelings are magnified if the abuse happened at home, work or school. They fear being assaulted again.

Many suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. They experience recurring nightmares, intrusive thoughts, depression, sadness and loss of control.

Julie has had some of these symptoms and has struggled with self-image and eating disorders, too.

In toddlers, experts see terrible stomach aches, depression, nightmares, acting out and problems concentrating, says Doug Goldsmith, director of The Children's Center and its therapeutic preschool.

The acting out includes a whole world of adult sexualized behavior that can get passed on to other young people.

"A lot of these kids don't know it's wrong," said Sandy police detective Jeff DuVal. Perpetrators make it seem like a game, he said. The child victim will then play the "game" with a friend. So the abuse can get passed on and on.

DuVal said he may interview the child as a victim and years later as a suspect.

Children go through a variety of emotions but take on an added burden if the perpetrator is a relative or someone they trust. They see their world dismantling because what happened to them may pit family members against each other.

"It polarizes families in an amazing way like nothing else does," said Lori Frasier, a University of Utah Safe and Healthy Families pediatrician. Children feel a sense of responsibility. They blame themselves.

"That betrayal of trust really damages the core of an individual. They're powerless," said Susanne Mitchell, director of the Salt Lake County Children's Justice Center.

Parents of victims bring their own set of issues: guilt about how they should have known, and sometimes a reliving of their own childhood abuse.

Parents also often feel a sexually abused child will never regain their innocence. "That's a myth we want to dispel," Mitchell said. "We don't want that to define the child."

But sometimes, Julie says, it does define the child.