Buffoons have no business being on Broadway

Noooooo! Say it isn't true! How can our beloved Broadway do this to us again?

Please sit down.

Get a tight grip on the newspaper.

Take a deep breath.

Rumor has it ... are you ready? The one and only Kevin Federline, yes THAT K-Fed, may be heading to Broadway to join the cast of "Legally Blonde."

Are you breathing?

I'm dismayed and saddened by this. Yes, K-Fed, most notably ex-Mr. Britney Spears, has made his living singing, dancing backup and delivering pizzas. But the I'm-trying-to-matter buffoon has no business being on a Broadway stage.

I know, I know, plenty of you are thinking "but he'll sell tickets," and there lies the classic Broadway debate. And I get that point, really I do.

But how sad that so many starving actors who have gone to the best theater schools in the country, spent thousands in vocal and dance coaching and have really made acting their craft, aren't the ones getting the jobs.

It's not completely confirmed yet. But the Fed man is noted as saying he's excited to bring the kids with him to New York.

Just in case any of the decision makers are reading this, my vote is: No. No more buffoons on Broadway

• "Happy Days — A New Musical," is heading back to Broadway and hitting the open road, too. Having had a short run in 2007, the touring show and the Broadway version are separate productions, using the same creative team. But they both claim to have "sensational choreography, unforgettable tunes and featuring everyone's favorite gang!"

• You Can't Stop the Beat : Broadway fans have a reason to care about the upcoming sixth season of "Dancing With the Stars."

"Hairspray's" original Tracy Turnblad, the fabulous Marissa Jaret Winokur, will be buckling her dancing shoes. She could actually win this thing. I mean, that's what "Hairspray" was all about, right? Dancing! Winokur will be shakin'-shakin'-shakin' it on the ABC/Ch. 4 premiere Monday at 7 p.m.

• Congratulations are in order for the London cast of "Hairspray," after big wins at the Olivier Awards — an award that honors the best of music, theater and dance. The show won four awards, the most of the night. Stage vet Michael Ball, and newcomer Leanne Jones took home best-actor awards. That's what I love about "Hairspray." It has been a terrific vehicle for giving "newcomers' their big break!