Simon doesn't have the layered rock-star hair of Ohno, in part because he was trying to cut his own hair in August, and a slip caused him to shave a swath up the middle. He ended up shaving his head.

There went one possible comparison to Ohno.

Then there's Ohno's trademark soul patch. Simon has none.

"That's not my style," he said.

But the big question I had to know was this: Can the man dance?

"I can dance ... but not really ballroom," he said.

He claims he can bust a few hip-hop moves when necessary.

Note to "Dancing with the Stars" producers: You know where to find him.

Oh, and one other thing.

There are no swarms of females sending fan mail or getting sweaty when Simon enters a room.

"I wish," he said.

Nonetheless, Ohno, now 25, pondered retiring after the 2006 Olympics. Due to his TV and celebrity schedule, he didn't compete or train for a couple of years. When he returned for the World Cup this year, he was just getting back in the groove. Going into this weekend's event at the Utah Olympic Oval, he was ranked just 56th in the world.

At some point, probably after the 2010 Olympics, U.S. Speedskating is going to need a new face. Maybe it will be Simon's.

If he can dance, act and model, all the better.

"They've got to be a well-rounded person," said Simon.

For the time being, though, he is hearing none of it. He's still in the happy-to-be-here stage.

"Until someone breaks out and does what Apolo's done," Simon said, "he's the man."

Everyone else will just have to settle for being himself.

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E-mail: rock@desnews.com