Love requires dealing with reality vs. fantasy

This time of year, it is nearly impossible not to think about love.

The symbols of love are everywhere: red roses, the sacred flower of Venus, the goddess of love; hearts, the representation of the center of emotion; Cupid, with his bow and arrow.

Ah, Cupid! Now there is a story of love.

He was the son of Venus and possessed the ability to cause people to fall in love by shooting them with his magical arrows. According to Roman mythology, Cupid fell in love with a mortal maiden named Psyche. Cupid's mother, who was jealous of Psyche's beauty, forbade her daughter-in-law to look upon her husband.

Of course, Psyche couldn't resist and finally took a peek at her handsome husband. For punishment she was given some difficult challenges to perform. The last one piqued her curiosity so much that she opened the box she was carrying. It proved to be her demise.

Yet Cupid's love for her was so strong that he pleaded with the gods, who, no strangers to emotion themselves, were so moved by his love they granted Psyche life and immortality so she could live with Cupid.

What a story. Every girl dreams of such a man. Trouble is, most guys look for a goddess like Psyche.

Oh, the problems of love — having to deal with real life instead of fantasy.

People in other eras had problems finding love, too. It is rumored that in the 1700s, English women would put the names of several men on a small bit of paper which was then rolled in clay balls. The balls were thrown into water. The first to pop to the surface contained the name of their true love.

Braver women went to a graveyard at midnight and recited a certain chant to conjure up the image of their future spouse.

During the Middle Ages, young men held a "love" lottery. A young woman wrote her name on a bit of paper, which then was pulled out of a bowl. The chosen name became his valentine. He would pin the paper on his sleeve and wear it for a week, thus leading to the expression about "wearing one's heart on one's sleeve."

With the Internet, Web sites have sprung up to aid men and women in the search for love. At age 64, my good friend, Dawn, met her husband, Mark, through a dot.com site. They couldn't be happier.

True love is made of friendship, companionship, sharing and caring, but if you pay attention to the media, sex would seem to be the most important element. Toothpaste commercials are about sex. Beer commercials are about sex. All the sitcoms are about sex.

This obsession with sex doesn't help make strong relationships. It is especially confusing to young, impressionable people and — for that matter — old, impressionable people, too.

Sex may be the main attraction, but it can't be 100 percent of the relationship. Love guru Leo Buscaglia says, "Perfect love is rare indeed — for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."

Our impatient one-click culture may not readily accept that kind of dedication.

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E-mail: sasyoung2@aol.com