Men secretly want flowers? News to them

I know that Valentine's Day isn't until next month, but I have to share the results of a survey I found online. Did you know that 61 percent of American men say they secretly wish women would send them flowers on Feb. 14?

The survey said men "respond well to vivid, crisp colors such as red, orange, yellow, purple and blue."

OK. I don't have sisters or daughters, which means I have spent a LOT of years living with guys. Still, this all came as news to me. Who knew they want flowers?

I decided to check this out with my father, who, as it turns out, was somewhere in America, teeing up on the 18th hole.

"Do you secretly want Mom to send you flowers on Valentine's Day this year?" I shouted into my cell phone.

"What?" he shouted back.

I repeated myself. Then I told him to ask his companions if THEY want their wives to send them flowers for Valentine's Day, especially if the colors are crisp.

"Hey you guys," I heard him say. "Do you want your wives to send you flowers for Valentine's Day?"

Nobody responded. No surprise there. It's hard to respond when someone stops you midswing with a question like that.

My dad shouted into his cell phone again. "Well I guess if anybody here wants flowers, we're still keeping it a secret."

After talking to my father, I sent a mass e-mail to some of the men in my life, asking them if they secretly want a woman to send them flowers for Valentine's Day this year. Here's what they said.

MY NEPHEW: "I would be happy to receive flowers as long as they were to arrive at my office in time to change the card so that I could take them home and regift them ... (My wife) and I have developed a rule of thumb for my birthday, Christmas and I suppose Valentine's Day presents — a good present is one that would inflict pain if thrown at another person. This rules out socks, pajamas, flowers, cards and most chocolates. It doesn't rule out Leathermans, flashlights, camping gear, bicycles, computers, good books, darts, nice fountain pens, hi-fi equipment, sawzalls, powder-actuated nail guns and lathes."

MY 23-YEAR-OLD SON: "Maybe my wife can get me roses for Valentine's Day, and I can get her an XBOX 360."

MY 14-YEAR-OLD SON: "Personally, I don't ever fantasize about getting flowers."

MY HUSBAND: "Um. No."

The online survey, as it turns out, was conducted by Bruskin/Goldring Research in and on behalf of the Society of American Florists. WHICH DOESN'T MEAN THERE WAS AN AGENDA. I'm sure millions of American men are hoping they'll receive a bouquet of blue flowers from their favorite gal pal next month.

But whatever.

Here's what I want: to hear from men AND women about what they DON'T want to receive for Valentine's Day. If enough of you respond, I'll print your answers so that all of us can be enlightened.

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E-mail: acannon@desnews.com