Falling grades could be a sign of ADHD

Dear Harlan: My 14-year-old son is in a new school this year. He has become a very popular social butterfly — talking more, going late to class (because he is talking) and receiving lower grades.

My son is very forgetful and loses his books and homework all the time. He seems interested only in his friends. The school he previously attended worked well because it was very small and strict, and he had his own small cubicle to sit in, which made concentrating much easier — of course, he hated it (and they did not have a sports or music program, which both of my children are involved in).

Please help me. We have tried taking away privileges and grounding him as well as offering him rewards for good behavior, but his grades are still declining and he can't seem to stop talking to his friends. Thank you for any help. — Out of Answers

Dear Out of Answers: The problem can be clinical — not just behavioral.

I'd get him evaluated for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The falling grades, distractibility, losing things, being late, not achieving his potential — they're all possible signs of ADHD. And the change of scenery could fit into this scenario.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, "Different symptoms may appear in different settings, depending on the demands the situation may pose for the child's self-control." More information can be found at this link: www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/adhd/summary.shtml.

A new school with so many distractions can be a trigger. A lot of times parents and teachers will mistake students secretly struggling with ADHD as troublemakers or as being lazy. When undiagnosed, ADHD can be extremely frustrating to the students living with it. Not being able to concentrate or achieve and to be constantly disappointing parents can wear kids down.

If your son does have ADHD, he's going to need the tools to function in a world filled with nonstop distractions. Get him evaluated, and go from there. You have nothing to lose. Please let me know what happens.

Dear Harlan: I have been seeing a guy who I am totally crazy about for almost a year now. The only problem is his roommate. His roommate does not like me and refuses to let me spend any time with Travis at their house.

The few times I have come over, the roommate throws things, slams doors, plays music extremely loud or plays his drums for hours on end until my boyfriend and I both have a splitting headache.