Skip meds; cheer up your pet naturally

A friend recently left me a voicemail, telling me that her cat is depressed. At least that's what the vet said. Furthermore, the vet thinks the cat should be medicated for his condition.

"What do ya think?" my friend asked me.

I haven't called her back yet, but here are my thoughts on the matter. First, there is no shame WHATSOEVER in having a pet who's depressed and/or anxious. When my mother went on an LDS mission, her dog (who lived with us) fell into a deep depression, which caused him to bite the stake clerk when he came to our house on church business.

STAKE CLERK: I have to go the Cannons' house again.

STAKE PRESIDENT: Dude! Have fun getting bitten!

My mother's dog stopped biting (I'm not kidding) thanks to Dog Prozac, which I gave him every morning. Also, people eventually refused to come to our house, and that helped put an end to the biting, too.

So anyway. Big Yes! I'm all for meds!

Meds, in fact, helped another friend who contacted a pet psychiatrist about her cats when she was living in Manhattan. When the doctor arrived at my friend's place (he made house calls), he formally introduced himself as Dr. so and so. But when he stuck his head under the bed and introduced himself to her cats who were hiding there, he used his first name to put them at ease.

Next to "My Friend, Flicka," I think this may be my favorite pet story in the entire history of the world.

Before she takes her cat straight to the Medication Place, however, I think my friend should try to cheer him up naturally because PETS+NATURAL=GOOD.

And since cats are the undisputed 14-year-old girls of the animal world (it's true! They're just always copping an attitude!), my friend should make a list of the things that would make a 14-year-old girl happy and then try them out on her cat.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Provide her cat with unlimited texting minutes.

2. Take her cat and all his BFFs to the mall where they can hang out and also get makeovers.

3. Buy him an iTunes card so he can catch the latest episode of "Hannah Montana" on his brand new video iPod.

4. Which she should buy for him today.

5. Take him to Best Nails for a pedicure. Say "oui" to a reverse French manicure.

6. Let him go to the next formal dance even though he's not 16 yet.

7. Let him stay up late on a school night and watch any DVD of his choice.

8. Let him sleep in (Hey! He's tired! He stayed up all night watching "Ten Things I Hate About You"!) and miss his first three periods because you know how it is — nobody's doing anything in class today anyway.

9. Tell him he can get his belly button pierced and also get a tattoo on his ankle, because you know how it is — cats with tattoos on their ankles are SO HOT!

I'm sure there are other things my friends can add to the list. I'm running out of ideas, however, because I don't have daughters. Just five sons and a couple of cats.

Who are waiting under my bed for the doctor as we speak.

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E-mail: acannon@desnews.com