What politicians mean when they say . . .

Tomorrow begins the 2008 general session of the Utah Legislature. This 45-day marathon of intense political activity can be confusing for even the most intelligent and insightful observer. Thus, as a public service, we offer again our assistance to help readers interpret what politicians and their assorted camp followers say — and what they really mean.

Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr.: "We have presented a solid budget with worthy programs that will take care of the needs of the state." (Sure, my budget is DOA. But we have to go through the motions.)

Republican legislators: "We are striving to maximize the efficiency of taxpayer dollars in public education." (We are searching for ways to stick it to the UEA after the teachers union killed vouchers.)

The governor's press secretary: "We recognize there are three branches of government, and we appreciate the role of the legislative branch." (They can do what they want, but we have enough PR firepower to get credit for whatever good comes out of the session, and legislators can take the blame for anything bad.)

The governor's campaign manager: "The governor anticipates a good working relationship with all Republicans across the political spectrum as we enter this election year." (Our approval rating is so high that no right-winger would dare file in March and challenge the governor in the state convention.)

Conservative caucus: "With such strong revenues, it's only fair to have a big tax cut." (Our constituents are mad about vouchers, so we have to do something to appease them.)

House Speaker Greg Curtis: "2008 will be a landmark session for all branches, parties and caucuses working together." (I may actually let others think they have some role in the process — maybe.)

Senate President John Valentine: "I appreciate the vigor and intensity of several members of our Senate caucus, who provide leadership to the state." (Can anyone help me control Curt Bramble?)

Legislative leadership: "The restored Capitol is the 'People's House' — for everyone to enjoy and watch democracy in action." (The new digs are great, especially our own parking and private entrances and corridors so we never have to bump into visitors or pesky reporters.)

Democratic legislators: "We are on the rise and will have substantial influence this year, providing important alternatives to the majority." (If I raise my hand and play nice, is there any chance Speaker Curtis will acknowledge me?)