And mixed messages in media can set parents and their 18- to 25-year-old children at odds. Some media encourage emerging adults to use this time to play around, explore, take their time, but when they do so, other media label them as selfish, narcissistic and irresponsible.

It is precisely this kind of exploration and pushing that goaded 22-year-old sophomore Wayne Morris into commenting.

"I don't know why they would get that data," Morris said. "We're all forced into these adult situations (at school) and make pretty serious decisions."

Nelson said parents and their college-age children can get along well, and the emerging adults can flourish "if everyone is on the same page about this new coming-of-age time period."

The healthiest thing parents can do is provide advice and guidance about the new, grown-up situations their children are experiencing and offer support, Nelson said. Then they should let their children make the decision or confront the professor or deal with the bank or credit card company themselves.

"Parents still matter, even at this age, and their children want them to matter," Nelson said. "If parents abandon them completely, I think they'll struggle, and if parents hover, they'll flounder. If parents provide direction and support and allow their children then to choose and act on their own, they can flourish and succeed."

And not all college students are still kids, said Nelson, who dislikes labels like Peter Pan kids and Millenials, a term some are applying to children born between 1980 and 1995. In a previous study, Nelson showed LDS college students reach standards of adulthood sooner if they have served church missions or worked hard in church positions.

"Young people with a little more structure in their lives tend to be achieving these criteria sooner," he said.

BYU freshman Austin Olsen, 19, admitted he will likely linger in pre-adulthood for a while, at least until he's married. He said then his parents might see him where he believes he's already arrived.

For now, though, crossing home's welcome mat in St. Louis, Mo., means a change in jurisdiction; old rules still apply.

"I still get nailed with curfew every time I go home," Olson said, shrugging his shoulders and half-smiling.

There were some strong agreements and some sharp disagreements between the generations in the new study over the criteria for adulthood.

One that parents and students almost unanimously agreed on is accepting responsibility for the consequences of actions. About 75 percent in both generations said another is learning always to have good control of their emotions.

But most college students felt they needed to be settled into long-term careers and be financially independent before they can be considered to have reached adulthood. Fewer parents felt that way.

On the other hand, parents believed learning to drive safely and avoid drunkenness were necessary steps to adulthood while the majority of students felt otherwise.

"These (college) kids want to do everything because they think we're right here as a safety net," said Lori Passey. "And I guess we kind of are."

The study was published in The Journal of Family Psychology. The students in the study were attending the University of Nebraska, the University of Minnesota, the University of California-Davis, Loyola College and McDaniel College.

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E-mail: twalch@desnews.com