'Dancing' — And the winner is ...

Your regular weekly results episode of "Dancing With the Stars" is about two minutes of anything that actually matters and about 58 minutes of advertising, promos and padding.

Tonight's installment (8 p.m., Ch. 4) is the season finale, so it's two hours long — which means about two minutes of anything that actually matters and about 118 minutes of advertising, promos and padding.

Actually, the producers have changed things up a bit this time so you'll have to do more than just watch the last two minutes. The third-place couple will be announced in the first few minutes of the show.

And ABC and the "Dancing" producers will make this season finale more interesting than most. After one couple is eliminated at the top of the show, the remaining pairs will each perform two dances and be judged — and those results will be figured into the determination of a winner. (As always, the judging/voting on "Dancing With the Stars" will leave a lot of viewers sounding like Ute fans after the University of Utah's loss to Brigham Young University on Saturday. Some will argue the technical merits, while others will argue for sentimental favorites. It's important to remember that the show isn't just about skill, it's about popularity — otherwise a winner would be chosen solely on the basis of the judges' scores without figuring in viewers' votes.)

On the plus said, season finales of "Dancing With the Stars" have never been as deadly dull as, say, the season finales of "American Idol." For one thing, there's always plenty of dancing to watch — and that's what makes the show so unexpectedly entertaining to begin with.

And "Dancing" is more fun simply because it is fun. "Idol" and shows of that ilk are over-the-top dramatic because they feature unknowns desperate to create careers for themselves.

"Dancing" features celebrities — even though they're B-list, C-list or D-list celebrities — who, determined as they might be, are still sort of doing it for fun. (Yes, some of them are trying desperately to revive their flat-lined careers. But those who seem to do best on the show are those who seem to be having the most fun.)

At the end of tonight's two-hour extravaganza, we'll have a winner. And there's still a two-out-of-three chance that the winner will have Utah ties for the second season in a row.

The three remaining pairs include Utahn Marie Osmond and her partner, professional dancer Jonathan Roberts, and dancer Julianne Hough, a Utahn who's partnered with race-car driver Helio Castroneves.

Or it could be Melanie Brown (aka Mel B or Scary Spice) and her partner, dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

By 10 tonight we'll know.

Actually, the, ahem, "live" show is seen on a one-hour tape-delay in this time zone. So if you know someone who lives in the Eastern or Central time zones who'll be watching, you can give them a ring at 9 p.m. Mountain time to find out who the winner is.

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E-mail: pierce@desnews.com