My mother is coming to visit next week, which naturally reminds me of last year's visit that went something like this:

I picked her up from the airport — all six children in tow — with visions of sugar plums and a leisurely breakfast together. Later, the plan was to take her shopping for a few things — a quick merry jaunt, mind you — to pick out goodies and a new comforter set (her very own — untouched by children's goobers). Next, we would come home to a fabulously cooked meal of special fajitas (already in the crock pot mind you) and build our ready-to-make gingerbread houses. Surely, a postcard holiday.

Now for the reality. Breakfast — supposedly a time of laughter and gaiety — was spent cleaning up cranberry juice that my baby chucked and attempting to get my husband off the phone to his construction crew (i.e. giving him The Look). The "shopping jaunt" turned into the proverbial "three-hour tour," which included me forgetting my wallet, children fighting in the back, my teething baby screaming literally for an hour in the vehicle WITH ALL OF US TRAPPED INSIDE, and bringing eight people into each store. Upon arriving home late that evening, we received a teacher's notice that my son's "unbirthday" was the next day (and to bring a poster) and made the final discovery that I had forgotten to plug in the fajita-ladened slow cooker.

Are you worried that the holidays won't go as expected? Here's great news — they aren't supposed to, because IT'S THE HOLIDAYS! We don't have to get frustrated or resentful. It's simply a time to change our rhythm and enjoy a new groove. Instead of running harried, we can just let it go and enjoy what's before us.

The reason I remember this experience so clearly is because, ultimately, that day was a total success. During that fateful breakfast, and after The Look, I talked with my hubby about how to get him off the phone, and he said, "Just call me." We both cracked up and spent a lovely evening together. When the baby cried, we just sang. When we saw the crock pot unplugged, we laughed and said, "We're going out to dinner!" When it was too late to do gingerbread houses, we took a drive after dinner to see our community light festival, a yearly tradition. We came home to pj's and cuddles on mom and dad's bed, all of the kids falling asleep there in grandma's arms. I pulled out poster board and scrapbook pictures, then let my son choose and glue while my husband helped write captions.

THIS is what makes holiday memories — not a cookie-cutter experience that is a replica of all the others before but all the nutty, bizarre, sad, mad, crazy and delightful events and experiences that happen each new year.

So this holiday season, I encourage each of us to lighten up and enjoy what each day brings — all the weird and wonderful — and put it in our journals and our hearts. If not, we'll have nothing to talk about at future family reunions.

LIFE tip: Reduce holiday expectations by enjoying the moments with your loved ones.

Book tip: "All Wrapped Up," a holiday CD by Nancy Hanson

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