UTAH STATE PRISON — Michael Yoder claims alcoholic blackouts have left him with a spotty memory of what he did.

A parole board member hearing his case on Tuesday didn't seem to buy it.

"Frankly, to abduct a 5-year-old who was going to the garbage can, drag her back to your apartment, take her clothes off, duct tape her head, and her arms, and her legs, and her body," Utah Board of Pardons and Parole Board member Clark Harms said.

"Abuse her repeatedly, hold her by her ankles while dunking her in a toilet trying to drown her and then stuffing her in a closet. All while looking at everybody searching frantically for her ... doesn't really ring true that you don't know what happened or that you were suffering from a blackout."

The horrific crime against the 5-year-old West Valley City girl in 1993 has left her and her family with permanent mental and emotional scars. She is now a 19-year-old college student.

"He may have little blackouts and not recall the situation, but my daughter recalls everything," said the girl's mother, who asked not to be identified.

When the little girl first vanished, her mother knew instantly something was wrong. As police and neighbors searched everywhere, Yoder threw the girl's clothing by a pond to throw them off. When police searched his apartment, they found the girl stuffed and suffocating in a utility closet.

The girl's mother was surrounded by supporters during the parole hearing but at times could not look at Yoder. The woman urged the parole board to never release him from jail.

"We will never know if (she) was his first victim, but we pray that she will be his last," the woman said.

"It's kind of hard to follow that," Yoder said after she finished.

Yoder is serving a 15-years-to-life sentence for child kidnapping and a nine-years-to-life term for aggravated sex abuse of a child. He attempted to explain what happened, blaming it at times on his alcoholism, abuse of pornography, and even his unemployment.

"I don't see me doing it again," he offered to the parole board

Harms called the crime "every parent's nightmare" and said the parole board was obligated to give him a hearing but did not believe he would be given a release date.

"Frankly, I'm not sure if you'll ever be released from prison," Harms told Yoder.

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