Even more of ... 'The Best of the Worst'

ROMANCE AND ROMANCE GONE WRONG (category)

Carol knelt sobbing as Roger's betrayal continued to burn through her heart with the acidic pain of a Zeus-hurled javelin and deepened when she looked at the once-dainty handkerchief clenched in her fist and could only pitifully muse, "I thought this mascara was waterproof." — Laura Crapo

Barbie was fed up from the perfect roots of her shiny soft hair to her made-for-high-heels toes with Ken's ongoing lack of commitment and the stupid fake grin he gave her every time he called her "Doll Face." — Penny Bowler

Stetson leaned in to kiss the pretty stranger, just catching a glimpse of the faint mustache above her lip, causing him to wonder why, in this day of modern technology, a woman wouldn't avail herself of laser hair removal services; but he kissed her anyway. — Lynne Christofferson

He kissed her passionately, not like a lover, but like a fire engulfing a fence post after a long dry spell. — Steve Dawson

Before dawn as Ben ambled over the golf course to sort out his muddled feelings for Suzanne, his gaze was inevitably drawn to the planet Venus, a celestial orb as brilliant, distant and cold as Suzanne herself, which proved to be a most unfortunate distraction inasmuch as a deep sprinkler trench had recently been cut into the seventh fairway. — Steve Fillerup

Ranger Jim grimly noted that his relationships with women did not go extinct; they just remained deceptively dormant until they suddenly and violently erupted in an explosion of hot, molten emotion; and as he locked up the Kilauea Visitor Center, he wondered if perhaps a vacation was long overdue. — Patti Call

Wilbur bent over and tried to whisper sweet "goodbyes" into Elanore's ear, but since she was sound asleep and snoring like a lumberjack's chainsaw, he doubted that she heard. — David Goddard

As Marylou heard the sound of overflowing pie filling sizzling onto the bottom of the newly-scrubbed oven and saw her toddler enter the living room screaming after she'd (accidentally) dumped vegetable oil on her head, she would've dissolved into tears herself had she not suddenly thought of her lover's passionate embrace the night before — while her husband was in Seattle with his secretary (again). — Nancy Delgado