MormonSpeak: Andrea, Lorna, Malachi and me

I love stake high councilors. Really — I do. My dad was a high councilor. My brothers have all been high councilors. To this very day some of my best friends are high councilors.

But Ive got to tell you that I used to cringe every time a high councilor started into a Sacrament Meeting talk about tithing. You just knew that sooner or later he was going to ask us to open our scriptures to the third chapter of Malachi, where the prophet solemnly asks, "Can a man rob God?" after which he reminds us how we do so by withholding our tithes and offerings. Then Malachi urges us to "bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:8-10).

It's right about there that I used to tune out. And not because I didnt believe the scripture, because I did. Throughout our marriage my wife, Anita, and I always paid our tithing. Well, OK — ALMOST always. We were pretty flighty about it at first. And there were a couple of years when we had to borrow money to make it through tithing settlement (the write-out-the-checks-but-don't-turn-them-in-until-December plan didn't work very well for us).

But for the most part, we paid our tithing. And I was ready and willing for those heavenly windows to pop open and make us rich.

Or at least well-to-do.

An unrealistic expectation? Probably. But once again, I blame the high council. They're the ones who tell those faith-promoting stories about folks who use their last dime to pay tithing, and then the next day they get a phone call from Ed McMahon saying they won the sweepstakes — and by the way, Ed wants to know, where should they park the trucks filled with money?

Please don't misunderstand. I dont doubt that tithing miracles happen. They just didnt seem to happen to us. For some reason, back in those days if we got a phone call the day after we paid our tithing it was Sears wanting to know why our payment was late.

Still, we paid our tithing, and not because it paid rich financial dividends. We paid tithing because we loved the Lord, and He asked us to. And yes, I recognize that compared to a lot of people we were greatly blessed. We had a roof over our heads and clothes to wear, and you only had to take one look at me to know that we didnt miss many meals.