BYU football: Rising, shouting — and waiting

Not everybody who wanted to could watch the Air Force-BYU game last Saturday. Tickets were sold out by the university the week before, and non-Comcastic fans were sold out by the MWC and university presidents from Provo to Fort Worth the year before.

So if you weren't one of the thousands with a ticket or one of the dozens with The mtn., here's what last Saturday's game-day experience was like from this reporter-turned-spectator's point of view:

10:19: Groan to wife about having to work on a Saturday. Leave Salt Lake City.

11:01: See first car with BYU flags near Lehi. This family is only partially invested: The car is teal.

11:08: Approach University Parkway in slow motion. Exit freeway. Uh, oh. See flashing lights, Orem police.

11:09: Good news: Manase Tonga is not in the back of any of the patrol cars.

11:10: Continue slow drive through thick traffic. Didn't think it would be quite so crowded two hours before kickoff.

11:11: See billboard that answers question. Crazy traffic apparently isn't for BYU game. Provo High is hosting a Bridal Fair today.

11:15: Wow! Notice huge Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade-like suit-and-tie-sporting missionary balloon on top of mall store.

11:16: Wonder if he knows his fiance is frantically planning their wedding right now at Provo High. Also wonder where his companion is.

11:28: Pass tons of free parking. Wife's uncle generously/insanely pays $18 for spot at bottom of Stadium Avenue.

11:29: Begin search for wild tailgating parties.

11:37: Find first tailgaters! No sign of food or drink. Ask where the grill is. "It's coming." No reason to hurry — after all, middle of the first quarter is still two hours away.

11:39: Spot second group of tailgaters seated on folding chairs behind large sedan. No signs of smoky BBQ or non-gray hair. Dessert du jour: zucchini bread.

11:43: Check out large crowd at BYUSA field-goal kicking booth. Teenage girl boots ball between yellow uprights. She goes bonkers. "Mine was perfect! I'm the best!"

11:44: Blue-clad boy with a "Y" hat and BYU shirt shanks his attempt. He doesn't go bonkers. Wonder if special teams coaches know their kicker is skipping pregame meetings.

11:55: Observe Chef Brandon grilling for Varsity Club lunch.