Smokers: Reward success, don't punish failure

To the smokers of the world: Puff on. At least for the next couple of minutes while we chat. You are not ignorant; you are not stupid. You are not evil. Let's save that title for the executives of the tobacco companies. You smoke for a good reason. You know so much about smoking you don't need another cigarette cop telling you what to do.

You understand the bad things it does to any named body part. You are knowledgeable about secondhand smoke. You also are aware that your kids especially are at risk. We're talking about your unborn children, too. The part that is so interesting is how you would do anything for your children. You would risk your life for them. An oncoming truck would not stop you from leaping to their rescue.

In spite of that love, giving up smoking is hard even knowing your infants are going to be more fussy and colicky. It is especially hard knowing children of smokers are at increased risk for school failures and 19 times more likely to have behavioral problems. Ouch.

You personally feel there are a lot of people against you and your smoking. I am not one of them. I am not against you. Here's why. A psychological magazine several years ago reported on an interesting experiment. The researchers took a group of smokers and asked them to quit. Some did and some didn't. Then they looked back at the two groups to see if there were explanations for the difference in the outcome. Was it the amount the people smoked? No. Was it the brand? No. Was it the years that they had smoked? No. There were quitters and continuers who had identical profiles.

So what was the difference? In this test, the only thing they could find was the successful quitters rewarded and didn't condemn themselves. Those who ultimately failed punished and criticized themselves all along the way. That is why I don't want to be one of those that gang up on you. I want you to know of my respect. Don't get me wrong. I want you to quit yesterday both for you and our kids. In my office I tell people I am concerned for them, and the moment I stop encouraging them about their quitting is the moment they will know that I no longer care.

There also may be one thing that you don't know. Why do you still smoke? Sure there are a hundred stories why you started. But, according to the study, that didn't have any influence on the success of stopping. While a lot talk about the addictive power of nicotine, others of you do it for the release of tension. You can see why an anxious smoker is nervous to stop. That's why I come back to the start. You are not dumb; you smoke for a reason that presently outweighs the reasons to stop or the reward system to help do it. If your smoking is self-medicating, treat yourself for the anxiety and stress with other drugs that do the same thing as nicotine