29 new shows are headed for your TV

Will it work? Probably. There are a lot of "Grey's Anatomy" fans.

Debuts: Wednesday, Sept. 26

BIONIC WOMAN (Wednesdays, 8 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5) is a "reimagining" of the shlocky 1970s series. It's a much darker take on the story of a woman who, after being horribly injured in an accident, is rebuilt using the latest technology.

Jaime Sommers (Michelle Ryan) is a struggling bartender who is at death's door when she and her (uninjured) boyfriend, Will (Chris Bowers), are in a terrible car accident. Fortunately for her, Will is a scientist in a secret government project, and he gives her new legs, an arm, an eye and an ear, essentially making her Superwoman.

Jaime's not so sure she's happy about this, and neither are Will's bosses, who expect Jaime to work for them.

What's to like? This "Woman" is a vast improvement over the original — it's more layered and real (odd though that may sound). Ryan is good, and so is Katee Sackhoff ("Battlestar Galactica"), who plays an earlier bionic woman who's gone rogue.

What's not to like? Very, very dark. Maybe too dark to hold up week in and week out. And Sackhoff's character might turn out to be more interesting than the "Bionic Woman" in the title.

Will it work? It's an iffy proposition at best — particularly because there is behind-the-scenes turmoil on the production/writing staff.

Debuts: Premieres Wednesday, Sept. 26

KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (Wednesdays, 8 p.m., Fox/Ch. 13) is sort of "Extreme Makeover: Restaurant Edition" — hosted by Satan.

Gordon Ramsay of "Hell's Kitchen" goes to a different failing restaurant each week and gives his kind of advice — meaning profane, rude, obnoxious and arrogant. (The first episode may have the most bleeps of any show in network-TV history.)

It's not all his fault, and he's not the only one getting bleeped — some of the restaurateurs would look right at home on "Cops."

Ramsay gets the places shaped up and drops tens of thousands of dollars worth of restaurant makeovers on them. It's weirdly entertaining, in a deafening sort of way; sort of the equivalent of a car wreck you can't help looking at as you drive by.

What's to like? I've never been a fan of "Hell's Kitchen," because Ramsay is just too obnoxious and mean to the contestants. He's not less obnoxious and mean here, but he has better reason — some of these restaurateurs are lucky they haven't food-poisoned anyone to death.

What's not to like? You have to have a high tolerance for people yelling at each other. And, quite honestly, this looks like something you'd see on any number of cable networks.