'Grease on a stick' — Mmmmmmm . . . You just gotta try it!

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — "Every year I plan on spending a ton of money on food at the fair," said the man sitting next to me on the bus as we headed to the Minnesota State Fair. "I know I'll have to eat light for a couple weeks afterward."

I was in Minneapolis for a food editors' conference two weeks ago, and the state fair was one of the many experiences packed into the four-day event. We caught a bus that shuttles people from downtown Minneapolis to the fair in St. Paul. During the ride, I heard from "the locals" on the bus raving about the food, the 56 different kinds of food-on-a-stick.

"Last year they had deep-fried spaghetti and meatballs on a stick, but it wasn't that good," my seatmate added.

Overhearing the conversation, a young woman behind us added, "I eat healthy all year long, so that for the 10 days of the fair I can pig out."

Wow, this must be some chow, I thought. My philosophy on fair food has always been to avoid it, since it's usually costly in both cash and calories.

As we got off the bus, the smell of hot grease hit my olfactory system like a bowling ball going for a strike.

Soon I was shoulder-to-shoulder with thousands of fairgoers. Everywhere, there were concession booths, with huge lines for munchies such as Belgian waffles on a stick, macaroni-and-cheese on a stick and alligator on a stick.

One booth was even handing out samples of "stain remover on a stick," but I never found it.

Teddy Roosevelt gave his famous "Speak softly and carry a big stick" speech at the Minnesota fairgrounds in 1904. He had no idea what he was starting.

I saw a woman eating fried-batter clumps from a little french-fry container. "Deep-fried cheese curds — it's a Minnesota thing," she told me. "They're SO good, you've gotta TRY them."

I didn't take her advice, since there were no Tums-on-a-stick to rescue me. Instead I tried the wall-eye on a stick, partly because Minnesota's official state fish is the wall-eyed pike, and partly because it was only lightly battered. The thin rectangle of white fish stuck on a wooden skewer was $3.50. It was actually pretty good — very little grease to overpower the fish's mild flavor.

I hovered next to the "Lefse" stand to see what it was. Lefse is a Norwegian tradition — it looks like a flour tortilla, but it's made with potatoes, spread with toppings and rolled up for eating.