From Deseret News archives:
Politicians had lots of fun this summer
Democratic Chairman Wayne Holland: "I started the long grueling search for a sentient being that resembles a human willing to run as the Democratic nominee against Governor Huntsman next year. If you know of any creature that fits this description, please let me know."
GOP Chairman Stan Lockhart: "Miserable summer. I suffer severe pain from muscle spasms in my wrists, the result of nonstop squeezing and arm-twisting of lobbyists and business bigwigs for contributions to the party coffers."
Congressman Chris Cannon: "I spent the whole summer defending Alberto Gonzales, and then he quits. Well, they better find someone else to help Sen. Larry Craig."
Congressman Rob Bishop: "My supporters organized two fund-raisers for me this summer and I issued a press release. I am exhausted."
Utahns supporting John McCain: "We just watched the movie 'Titanic' over and over looking for survival hints."
Mitt Romney: "I spent the summer trying to convince PETA that my dog really likes fresh air. He's not satisfied just sticking his head out the window. He likes the full effect. Oh, and I did spend some time groveling for dollars."
Sen. Orrin Hatch: "Managing my noncampaign campaign to replace Gonzales for attorney general was great fun. Lots of good press and national attention at no cost."
Sen. Bob Bennett: "As Utah's most rational member of Congress, I had a statesmanlike summer."
Attorney General Mark Shurtleff: "I spent the summer cuddling with the conservatives in the party. I needed to remind them that I am just another good old boy."
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