• You thought Mormino was John Beck's nickname on the Miami Dolphins, not knowing he actually has a teammate with that last name (rookie guard Drew Mormino).

• Your grandma asked if LaDainian Tomlinson was a Utah native — perhaps begat by LaMar and LaDonna in LaVerkin?

• Your "three-hour block schedules" on Sunday begin at 11 a.m. and 2:15 p.m.

• You've asked your bishop to move the other three-hour block to the 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. slot.

• You bought a TiVo — so you wouldn't miss a snap — after he politely declined your request.

• You hoped you'd grow a foot or two so you could go on a mission and play outside linebacker.

• Your loved one/church leaders believe you need intervention. You think you simply need a comfy recliner, a loaded fridge, a working remote and some compassionate understanding.

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E-mail: jody@desnews.com