"It's a tender age," she said. "They need their dad, a father figure. They don't like Mom at that age — Dad's the hero. It's best to have both parents in the home."

Since her husband arrived last month in Iraq, he hasn't had any Internet access. And the few phone conversations they've had have been short. Carie chooses carefully what she says during those calls.

"He can't fix anything here right now," she said. "The only thing he needs to focus on right now is his mission. You just say everything you need to say and move on.

"You tell him that home is still here, and to know that he is loved and missed. Everybody has got their part in this war, my part, his — and we'll put all the parts back together and get through it when he gets home."

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E-mail: sspeckman@desnews.com