As he tried to suppress the emotional impact of those dreams, his outward self began to change. Certain smells, sights and sounds to this day trigger disturbing flashbacks that are as clear as watching a video of the real events.

Confrontations in the workplace led to requests by Paul for one job transfer after another, which Aline said meant dragging the family from state to state over the life of Paul's military career.

Aline was 19 when she married Paul. They had met at a friend's wedding in Louisiana, where Aline lived and Paul, who had returned from Vietnam, was stationed while in the Air Force.

Aline didn't know any details about Paul's experiences in Vietnam. She didn't know that when he arrived back in the United States, he was called a "baby killer" and that people had spit on him.

Paul was already suppressing much in order to put forward his best face.

As a 19-year-old, Paul had enlisted in the Air Force in 1971. He spent most of his tour in Vietnam while working aboard a medical evacuation helicopter. After deployments to the Philippines and Thailand, Paul spent most of his military career in the Air Force, employed in a "special operations" role. Eventually, he flew a few helicopters on his own and dreamed of flying as a new career path.

Paul actually joined the Army in 1983 and became an aviation warrant officer in pursuit of his dream. The following year, however, he was hit by a car while he was walking, and injuries from that accident forced him to abandon his ambition to fly. By 1985 he had reached the rank of staff sergeant and had become a chemical laboratory specialist, a job that didn't offer enough incentive to stay in the Army — so, he retired from the military for good that year.

The accident, Paul figures, compounded the effects of a brewing case of PTSD.

Over the years, Paul became emotionally and even physically abusive to his family. He would eat meals by himself in his bedroom at home.

But he also became more than a recluse, someone to avoid and an absent father — Paul turned into a "monster," as he put it.

A visit in 2005 to the Vietnam Memorial in Washington triggered a change.

"I just sobbed," he said. "I just kind of fell apart."

Back in Utah after that trip, he couldn't concentrate at work. He thought maybe it was attention deficit disorder. And things were worse at home.

Instead of looking for another medication to mask the problem, he went searching for answers, and he found Hollenbeck. "He was really struggling," she said.

She was the first person ever to tell Paul that he had PTSD.

"They both just looked at me," she said about an evaluation session in 2005 with Paul and Aline. "He started to cry, because I think there was finally an answer."

Surviving a war