"He called his mother and told her he loved her," Lewis said. "He got angry on another call when he was talking to a friend. I heard him say, 'I'm having all this trouble, and you're going to ask me for a favor?"'

Sickler helped himself to another beer in the kitchen but spilled it as he paced around the room trying to keep an eye on the police outside, Lewis remembered. She was dragged with him, everywhere he went.

"He looked out the door four times," she said. "The fourth time he opened the porch door he didn't see anybody, so he opened the door wider."

Suddenly, Lewis heard a loud gunshot.

"Am I dead?" Lewis said she asked herself. "I couldn't figure out who'd been shot."

Sickler fell back, letting go of her, and landed in the middle of her kitchen floor.

"I knew he was dead because he didn't move a muscle. There was blood everywhere," she said.

The officers yelled at her to run out of the house and not to stop until she reached them.

"I just felt relieved," Lewis said.

Salt Lake police said the officer had a clear shot and took it. That officer has now been placed on administrative leave while a series of investigations into the shooting is conducted, Salt Lake City police detective Jared Wihongi said Monday.

Police refused to release any other details about the shooting, saying it was still under investigation.

For Lewis, the rest of the day was a blur as she was questioned by police and taken to a hospital to be checked out. Being treated for a mental illness, Lewis said she was heavily sedated to help her cope with the hostage drama.

When she was finally taken home the next day, Lewis said she started crying when she walked into the kitchen. She said she could still feel Sickler's presence.

"There was still blood on the floor ... and I kept crying when I saw it," she said.

Officials had someone come and clean it up, but the memory still haunts her.

"I kept seeing him," Lewis said. "It would make me throw up."

Sitting in the darkened room, Lewis looked around and said it felt more peaceful now. Sickler's presence was no longer there.

"At first it was eerie, and I would wake up thinking he was there," she said. "Now I can relax. I don't feel that way anymore, but it was some way to spend my birthday."

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Contributing: Ben Winslow

E-mail: dramsay@desnews.com