Custody laws put many in limbo

"I believe that any parent in Hollii Whiting's position would do just as she had done," McConkie stated. "Essentially, if a parent were sending their child into an environment that undermined and damaged their relationship with the child, that parent would do all they could to change the child's situation."

But the worry is not just for same-sex couples. Some stepparents wonder where the law places them should their spouse die, leaving them locked in a legal custody battle with an ex-spouse who is the child's biological parent.

Harris Sondak, as associate professor at the University of Utah's School of Business, says as a stepfather himself, he can understand the worry. He raises his stepdaughter as his own. He saves money for her college education and gives her emotional support.

"Presumably I would have more protection than if I were in a gay relationship," Sondak said, but he wonders how much legal standing a stepparent would have in court against an ex-spouse. "It puts at risk my relationship with my stepdaughter if something happens to my wife," he said.

There is also a potential economic impact for Utah's economy. Sondak has testified before the Legislature's economic development committee that Utah's laws are unfriendly to stepparents moving into the state. He told lawmakers that Utah's reputation of not being friendly to diversity hurts the state in many ways economically.

"I would like the law to say something like when courts are making a custody decision that they take into account the level of relationship the child has with an adult and what is in the best interest of the child," Sondak said. "I just don't understand why this state elevates biology above all other factors."

Easier said than done

Yet while some Utahns call for legal reform that would grant more consideration to non-biological parental figures in the lives of some children, legal experts and lawmakers say creating such a law that doesn't directly conflict with a biological parent's rights is a daunting task.

To draft such a law would make lawmakers face some difficult and uncomfortable facts, said former Utah Supreme Court Chief Justice Michael Zimmerman, who now works for the Salt Lake office of Snell & Wilmer.

"To say that something needs to be done is to say that same-sex relationships need to be recognized (and) to say that people in non-married relationships are having children in increasing numbers needs to be recognized," Zimmerman said.

Essentially Utah courts have taken the position that they are not about to restrict the right of a legal parent who expresses objections.

Bottom line, improving the situation for people living in non-traditional relationships would require a law that recognizes such relationships and would allow courts to overrule the decision of a fit biological parent.