Parental presence vital in tough times

I want a parent to be present when I inflict pain on their child. Shots, exams, procedures, circumcisions and minor surgery can all hurt or at the least scare a child to death. Some may think that a parent needs to be there for the child's sake; instead, I do it for the parent's. Some don't want to be there. They can't stand watching their child in pain. These are the exact ones who need to be seen by the child even if their eyes are closed. My wish is for the mother or the father to be at the baby's side to learn the tough lesson of being emotionally available in the rough times.

There will be moments in children's lives when there is no bandage big enough to cover the pain. There will be hurt. There may be nothing that can change it, stop it or make it go away. Sometimes the damage is deeper than a scrape and longer lasting than an ouch.

The pain can be failing in marriage or career, abandoning family standards or being forsaken by friends; sadly there could be worse disappointments. A son or daughter will go to jail or contract some awful disease or pick up some horrible addiction. The practice of being there when a child gets shots, has a procedure or even a circumcision will be practice for the big-league troubles that may come and for the minor-league struggles that most assuredly will.

Mother Teresa, the saint of Calcutta, and now her disciples are recognized as the ones who care for those who no one else will touch. The poorest of the poor have the diseases of poverty that often attack the flesh. Ulcers, boils and the accompanying flies, odors and repulsion are the plagues of their brothers and sisters of the street and gutter. It is exactly because they are diseased and rejected that these marvelous nuns are drawn to them. Taking them in, these living angels wash the wounds and doctor the sores. If they can do nothing more, they make certain the "least of these my brethren" do not die alone.

Being present to the end or in painful moments is very hard for some. Even the most dedicated parent or disciple will sometimes shrink from the challenge. However, this is exactly when we need to be there. Mother Mary remained on Golgotha even though she could hear the sound of the pounding hammers. Providing comfort at a time of discomfort or staying locked in resolve by standing with a child when everyone else is escaping are hallmarks of parental courage.