Musical experiences build parent-child bond

A couple of weeks ago, my oldest daughter, Allyson, graduated from junior high school. She'll be a high school freshman next year. It blows my mind.

The funny thing is, I don't feel old. It's surreal. I look around and see everyone else aging but I don't feel like a 40-year-old man. In fact, I don't feel a day over 16.

Anyway, my daughter, who turns 14 next month, will be a high schooler. And she'll be taller than me in a few months ... which isn't a huge feat, except that I used to carry her with one arm.

Since the day she was born, she has been a music fan. Like most parents, I would sing her to sleep, and I'd play music in the house all the time.

I remember putting pianist George Winston's "Autumn" in the CD player when she was about 5 months old. She'd try to make her way to the stereo speakers to touch the sounds.

Winston was a favorite of hers. So was contemporary instrumentalist Suzanne Ciani. In fact, when Ally started to speak, one of the first words she said was "Ciani" (pronounced "CHAW-nee").

As Ally grew, her tastes in music also developed. She started watching "Barney" and "Sesame Street," which both have a large focus on music. But I also found her looking through my CD collection and wanting to know what the various artists sounded like.

My own childhood favorites found their way into her life. She grew to know Styx, Journey, Kansas, The Doors, vintage Chicago and Rush, just to name a few.

For most of her early years, I monitored her musical diet carefully. I wouldn't allow her to listen to Metallica, Megadeth, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Pantera or any other heavy band until she was 10. The day after her 10th birthday, I found her trying to open my Judas Priest compilation CD. To this day, she insists on having the song "Breaking the Law" on her iPod.

We try to update her iPod every two weeks. And it's nice to see she's developed an eclectic musical taste. Everything from Fergie and Butterfly Boucher to Queen and Cake have found their way into her Nano playlist.

A few weeks ago we put in John Mayer, Van Halen and Tori Amos. She also wanted a couple of tracks by Lamb of God, Metallica, Def Leppard, Evanescence, Fall Out Boy, Hinder, Nelly Furtado and The Buggles.

There is one song that has always been close to both our hearts (and with my younger daughter, as well) — The Grateful Dead's "I Will Take You Home."

The song was written and sung by the Dead keyboardist Brent Mydland, who died a few years ago, and appears on the album "Built to Last." It's a lullaby that expresses a father's love for his daughter. And every time we hear it together, we get a bit misty.

Those types of experiences only make me love my job more than ever.

My daughter is becoming an adult, and music has created a bond between us ... even if she thinks I'm the one who sometimes act like an immature 16-year-old.

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E-mail: scott@desnews.com