O.J. knows truth about Hilton, news

Who said the following:

"When Paris Hilton was going to jail last week, more people knew about that than knew that we were sending people into space that day. It has replaced what is real news. There was always a place for it, but it was (gossip columnist) Rona Barrett. Now it is the equivalent of Edward R. Murrow reporting it today."

Was it: (A) Dan Rather, (B) Walter Cronkite, (C) Conrad Hilton, (D) O.J. Simpson.

If you chose "D," give yourself an A.

And just when you thought it was safe to open your Internet access again.

I don't know what's scarier. O.J. lecturing us on what constitutes real news, the fact that a reporter (from Editor & Publisher, no less) asked him for his opinion, or my realization that I find myself agreeing with him.

Actually, I can think of more egregious media excesses. There was that nationally televised pursuit of a slow-moving white Ford Bronco on the L.A. freeways in 1994.

But as I also recall, O.J. was otherwise occupied and didn't get to see that coverage.

Equally scary is the reaction from the bad girl herself, who said she is right there on the same page with O.J.

"I was shocked to see all the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail," said Paris Hilton. "I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq and other places around the world."

She said this after she used her phone call from jail to call Barbara Walters, who in a wild coincidence was about to go on her nationally televised talk show, "The View."

In no time, Walters wasn't telling the world about the men and women serving our country in Iraq, she was telling the world about what Paris had just told her.

After four days in the slammer, Paris Hilton, according to Walters, had found God and a new purpose in life that included helping out in the fields of breast cancer and multiple sclerosis, producing "Paris Hilton playhouses" for sick children, and never drinking and driving or misbehaving again.

She also revealed that her 45-day sentence would be trimmed to 23 days for — and this does happen to be real news — good behavior.