Chronic depression is not a joke

Dear Abby: I am 17 years old and believe I am suffering from chronic depression. I am very emotional and cry a lot. I get good grades, and people say I'm a great baby sitter, but I feel that I'm not good at anything else.

My younger sister, who is 15, is very outgoing and has a lot of friends. I have only a few, so I get jealous.

Now I have started gaining weight to the point that I am no longer "skinny."

About four months ago, my best friend of two years and I stopped getting along, and we haven't spoken since.

I have had counseling for two years. I go every three months, but nothing is changing. Both my parents feel that it is a waste of money. I try to talk to them sometimes, but they just take it as a joke. I am confused about everything, and I am so lonely. Do you have any advice? — Hurting in Pennsylvania

Dear Hurting: Yes, I do. Depression, increasing isolation and low self-esteem are problems that require counseling on a more regular basis than every three months, and possible medication in addition. If the person you are seeing hasn't recognized that the sessions haven't helped you, then it's time for another evaluation with another therapist. Please show this to your parents and tell them the letter was written by you. You need more help than I can give you in a letter.

Dear Abby: Eight months ago I lost my job in Indiana. I moved here to be with my fiancee, "Michelle," and to take a job I was offered. It meant leaving my 10-year-old daughter behind. (She lives with her mother, my ex-wife.)

Since then, I have been offered a job back in Indiana where, if I take it, I can reunite with my daughter and other family. Michelle and I aren't getting along well, and I love my daughter dearly and truly miss her. I feel like I have let her down. She calls daily — sometimes crying — begging me to move back home to be with her.

I want to move back home and be with my daughter, but on the other hand, I don't want to hurt Michelle. Someone has to be hurt in this decision I must make. Can you give me some direction here? — Suffering in Oregon

Dear Suffering: Talk to Michelle. It may not be necessary for "someone" to be hurt, if she is willing to move back to Indiana with you and find another job. If, however, she is not willing to do that, then you will have to decide which relationship is more important to you — that with your daughter, or the one you have with your fiancee.