Two dueling polls say they have the definitive word on how parents want schools to teach their children about sex.

"Parents prefer abstinence education 2 to 1," boasts the headline on the National Abstinence Education Association Web site. A recently released survey of California parents, however, finds that even self-identified "very conservative" parents are overwhelmingly in favor of "comprehensive sex education," which the study defines as abstinence plus contraceptive information for students who decide to have sex.

The two surveys were released this spring, just as federal funding for abstinence-only sex education programs is set to run out. Some observers are predicting that the Democratic-controlled Congress will just let the grants die a quiet death on June 30. Others are predicting that Republicans may put up a fight.

Not surprisingly, the surveys are being used by each side in the sex education wars. Both camps argue that once parents understand how abstinence education and comprehensive sex education really work, they come around to the "correct" point of view. And both sides argue that their poll results should drive public policy (and its attendant money).

According to advocates of abstinence education, comprehensive sex education pays lip service to abstinence while promoting teen sex. According to advocates of comprehensive sex education, abstinence education is all about "just say no" and doesn't provide the information teenagers need to stay safe. Both sides say the nuances of their approaches are ignored by their opponents.

In truth, the line between abstinence education and comprehensive sex education is sometimes fuzzy. Only some abstinence-education programs are abstinence-only, and comprehensive sex education programs talk about abstinence as well as condoms . Even the terms themselves — abstinence and comprehensive — are awkward attempts to reduce the complexities of human sexuality to clinical catch-phrases.

Staying chaste

In Utah, most sex education is what is known as "abstinence-based": The focus is on staying chaste, but unless parents opt out (and very few do) students do learn about condoms and other contraception/protection — but state policy prohibits "promotion" and "instruction" about them. If someone asks how to use a condom, says Utah State Office of Education health/physical education specialist Frank Wojtech, "our state law says 'per package instruction."'