From Deseret News archives:

Buddy, can you spare a square?

Published: Tuesday, May 1, 2007 12:08 a.m. MDT
 |  E-MAIL | PRINT | FONT + - 
It's great that Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah drive bio-diesel cars, which operate on carrot juice or sushi or something like that.

If celebrity chef Jamie Oliver wants to power his restaurant with windmills, I wish him fair wind.

Good luck to Cate Blanchett and her solar-powered home.

It's terrific that Julia Roberts brings her own (canvas) bags to the grocery store.

If the Dave Matthews Band wants to repair damage caused by CO2 emissions from their tour buses by planting trees, have at it.

But when Sheryl Crow wants everyone to soak up the sun AND cut back on their personal use of toilet paper, that's another matter.

That's hitting us where we live, as it were.

Ms. Crow wants us to use ONE SQUARE PER SITTING.

Are you serious, Robinson?

Could I make this up?

By the way, Crow also says she has invented a "dining sleeve" to be worn on the arm, so you can wipe your mouth with your sleeve (instead of a paper napkin), which is how most men do it anyway. Afterward, you can remove the gravy-encrusted sleeve and throw it in the washer with some biodegradable soap.

Story continues below
Crow was speaking about forest conservation last week when she made her announcement: "I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. ... I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two or three could be required."

Pesky situations? Please, no more information.

Is this the same woman who sang, "Wanna tell everyone to lighten up"?

I take it Crow won't be TP-ing anybody's house.

Actually, I agree with Crow: One square is just about right, as long as that square is the size of a beach towel.

Does anyone remember this headline from September 2005? "ONE OF FOUR MEN DOESN'T WASH HANDS IN RESTROOM."

A study revealed that 25 percent of men and 10 percent of women don't bother washing up after doing their business in public restrooms.

Do we really want these people scrimping on TP? My thought: Go ahead and save water, land, chipmunks, Bambi, air — but whatever you do, feel free to use all the TP you require. Don't spare on squares.

So many things we can and can't do. Maybe it's just a process of elimination (ha, ha). (As you might imagine, we writer types are having a field day on the Crow story with the double entendres, etc., etc. — "Emissions Control, We have a Problem," read the headline in the Washington Post.)

Comments

You can be the first to comment on this story.

previousnext

Latest comments

A.K. Clearly Blew It. What the heck was he thinking. Blew the game after all...

Conviction upheld in gun case

OK, How about an open discussion about what power is being exercised by the...

Um no. Every night is family night in my house. I think it is a sad...

TCU plows past Utes, 55-28

Utah is a good team but we got ourselves smacked in the mouth. Then we...

Okay, let's play that game. Those last two Ute touchdowns were in garbage...

James leads Cavaliers past Jazz

I honestly see dwill's attempt at more shots this year a symptom rather than...

BYU was not lucky to win this game, they were far superior than a terrible...

TCU plows past Utes, 55-28

Wow- reading all these replies just tells me there is a lot of bitter Utah...

TCU plows past Utes, 55-28

Today was great. Now on to a victory in two weeks in Provo, then, a real...

I've been reading posts all evening and it's hilarious. I don't know who...

Advertisements
Advertisement