Buddy, can you spare a square?

It's great that Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah drive bio-diesel cars, which operate on carrot juice or sushi or something like that.

If celebrity chef Jamie Oliver wants to power his restaurant with windmills, I wish him fair wind.

Good luck to Cate Blanchett and her solar-powered home.

It's terrific that Julia Roberts brings her own (canvas) bags to the grocery store.

If the Dave Matthews Band wants to repair damage caused by CO2 emissions from their tour buses by planting trees, have at it.

But when Sheryl Crow wants everyone to soak up the sun AND cut back on their personal use of toilet paper, that's another matter.

That's hitting us where we live, as it were.

Ms. Crow wants us to use ONE SQUARE PER SITTING.

Are you serious, Robinson?

Could I make this up?

By the way, Crow also says she has invented a "dining sleeve" to be worn on the arm, so you can wipe your mouth with your sleeve (instead of a paper napkin), which is how most men do it anyway. Afterward, you can remove the gravy-encrusted sleeve and throw it in the washer with some biodegradable soap.

Crow was speaking about forest conservation last week when she made her announcement: "I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. ... I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two or three could be required."

Pesky situations? Please, no more information.

Is this the same woman who sang, "Wanna tell everyone to lighten up"?

I take it Crow won't be TP-ing anybody's house.

Actually, I agree with Crow: One square is just about right, as long as that square is the size of a beach towel.

Does anyone remember this headline from September 2005? "ONE OF FOUR MEN DOESN'T WASH HANDS IN RESTROOM."

A study revealed that 25 percent of men and 10 percent of women don't bother washing up after doing their business in public restrooms.

Do we really want these people scrimping on TP? My thought: Go ahead and save water, land, chipmunks, Bambi, air — but whatever you do, feel free to use all the TP you require. Don't spare on squares.

So many things we can and can't do. Maybe it's just a process of elimination (ha, ha). (As you might imagine, we writer types are having a field day on the Crow story with the double entendres, etc., etc. — "Emissions Control, We have a Problem," read the headline in the Washington Post.)

I don't know about you, but I get a little nervous whenever celebrities feel the need to impart their wisdom on American culture or politics. Their personal lives are train wrecks, but, sure, go ahead and tell us how to fix the world.