'Heroes' face death

Heroes are going to die tonight.

That's right. Heroes, as in plural. Die as in dead.

When "Heroes" (8 p.m., Ch. 5) returns from its seven-week hiatus, characters you've known for a long time are going to go to their final reward.

Well, that's a poor choice of words, given what we've seen in previous episodes.

"I've actually died already," said Santiago Cabrera, whose character, Isaac, was indeed dead at one point 18 episodes ago. And he wasn't alone.

"I die all the time, so it's not a big deal," said Hayden Panettiere, who plays indestructible cheerleader Claire. "I feel like Kenny in 'South Park."'

That's a bit of an exaggeration. But only a bit.

"Heroes" creator/executive producer Tim Kring has made it clear from the beginning that characters would die. He's already killed off a couple of characters on what at least appears to be a more permanent basis.

"That is why we race to get the next script," said Greg Grunberg, who plays mind-reader Matt.

Tonight's episode of "Heroes" was worth the wait. This is great stuff, with several surprises on tap — including revelations about characters we've seen before who are not what we might have thought.

As to whether the dead remain dead, well, we'll just have to wait and see.

"I like to think as long as Hiro is alive you can go back in time (and) make everyone alive again," said Masi Oka, who plays the time-bending Hiro.

Beginning tonight, "Heroes" is scheduled to air five consecutive original episodes through the first-season finale on May 21.

CRASH AND BURN: The low-budget "reality"/comedy show "The Real Wedding Crashers" (9 p.m., Ch. 5) is loaded with about a minute-and-a-half of funny stuff.

Unfortunately, it's 60 minutes long. And, except for that minute-and-a-half of funny stuff — spread over the hour — a lot of this wedding-centered "Punk'd" is just tedious.

I wasn't expecting much of this show and it didn't live up to my expectations. It was far worse than I anticipated.

Allegedly "inspired by" the movie "Wedding Crashers," this is one long, largely unfunny "Candid Camera" bit. It's about a group of actors who do various things to mess up the festivities surrounding a real couple's nuptials.

This would be unforgivably cruel to the bride and groom except that they're in on the "joke." It is, however, unforgivably cruel to viewers who waste an hour of their lives — well, 58 1/2 minutes — by watching this piece of junk.

And if this is an indication of where NBC is headed — the network chief has stated a goal of adding more unscripted series — that whole proud-as-a-peacock thing is dead and buried. "The Real Wedding Crashers" looks like it cost dozens of dollars to produce and was edited by chimps.

Maybe the network could change its mascot from a peacock to a chimp.

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E-mail: pierce@desnews.com