Pair of one-act plays are irreverent, full of laughs

"WINE AND ONE-ACTS," PYGMALION PRODUCTIONS, Rose Wagner, through April 28 (355-2787 or www.arttix.org), running time 105 minutes (one intermission)

At one point in "Chicks" the kindergarten teacher tells her class, "Miss Phallon is having one of those binding headaches she gets when she sees too many far-reaching implications."

She always talks over their heads. When she's not swallowing pills and taking a nap. Or showing anatomically correct sock puppets.

In short there could not be a less appropriate, more human, funnier teacher than the one in this play, written by Grace Mckeaney.

Barb Gandy is perfectly cast in the role. She peers out at us in the audience as if we were her class. We are old enough to know she's wacky. Still, she makes us remember being little and helpless with laughter and spellbound by how Teacher will answer that question.

The second one-act play in Pygmalian's repertoire is a send-up of "The Glass Menagerie," titled "For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls," by Christopher Durang.

Vicki Pugmire is Amanda, a mother who needs to be rid of her weak offspring. In this parody, the child is a son named Lawrence who has asthma and a swizzle stick collection, and is just too delicate to leave the house.

Lane Richins is delightfully odd as Lawrence. And the others are good, too. Pugmire's accent is smooth and subtle. Colleen Baum is anything but gentle as Lawrence's gentlewoman caller. Brian Bahr as the brother, Tom, has a nice monologue in which he fantasizes about ditching his awful relatives.

Some lines are funnier if you know "The Glass Menagerie" but it really doesn't matter. The only way the script could have been funnier is if it ended earlier, without belaboring the relationships.

As a rule, Pygmalion tickets go for $15. For this production, being the season fund-raiser, the tickets are $25.

Wine at intermission was planned. When the liquor control people quashed that idea, the producers decided to offer non-alcoholic wine. Well, juice would taste better. The fake wine is the least palatable part of an otherwise amusing evening.

Sensitivity rating: Swearing in both plays, gay themes in the second play.

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E-mail: susan@desnews.com