From Deseret News archives:

Forgiveness is extolled

Church leaders touch on gospel truths, divorce

Published: Monday, April 2, 2007 12:34 a.m. MDT
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He said many good members of the church have been divorced — many of whom are innocent victims "whose former spouses persistently betrayed sacred covenants or abandoned or refused to perform marriage responsibilities for an extended period." Such members "have firsthand knowledge of circumstances worse than divorce."

"When a marriage is dead and beyond hope of resuscitation, it is needful to have a means to end it," he said.

Still, he cautioned that those considering divorce must look first at reformation, rather than separation. "Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness," he said, adding those with "serious marriage problems should see their bishop. As the Lord's judge, he will give counsel and perhaps even discipline that will lead toward healing."

However, "Bishops do not counsel members to divorce, but they can help members with the consequences of their decisions," he said.

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Elder Oaks said a wise bishop once made three observations of those who eventually divorced: (1) That universally they all believed divorce was not a good thing but insisted their situation was different; (2) That universally the focus was on the fault of their spouse and not their own behavior. Communication had also withered; (3) That universally they looked back, unwilling to leave the baggage of their behavior on the roadside and move on.

"Even those who think their spouse is entirely to blame should not act hastily," Elder Oaks said.

He also spoke briefly to those contemplating marriage.

"The best way to avoid divorce from an unfaithful, abusive or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person. If you wish to marry, inquire well."

Elder Oaks stressed, too, that a good marriage "does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection."

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve examined what he called the miracle of the Holy Bible and emphasized the church's belief in it.

He said Latter-day Saints believe that "'all scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable.' We love the Bible and other scriptures. That may be surprising to some who may not be aware of our belief in the Bible as the revealed word of God," Elder Ballard said.

He also had a caution for young church members: "You young people, especially, do not discount or devalue the Holy Bible. It is the sacred, holy record of our Lord's life."

Other Sunday addresses expounded basic Latter-day Saint doctrine and history.

Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve detailed some of the faith's early history.

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Church President Gordon B. Hinckley speaks Sunday in the Conference Center, telling the faithful they should strive for "peace and harmony" in their homes.

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