G.M. — a 32-year-old Salt Lake Valley man who asked that his full name not be used — attends a domestic violence offender counseling group once a week because of a fight with his wife.

During an argument about money, he said, she blocked him from leaving their house to take a walk. She had hold of his forearm when he yanked it away, pushing her back. He tried to leave but again he said she stood in his path, so he called police.

Police determined he was the primary aggressor and cited him on domestic violence-related charges. A justice court judge imposed a $300 fine and required he attend a 16-week domestic violence awareness course, which is common for first-time offenders.

"How come I have to go to counseling and she doesn't?" he said in an interview with the Deseret Morning News.

G.M. admits he pulled his arm away but said he did nothing to injure his wife. He believes police identified him as the perpetrator because he comes from a foreign country and his wife is American. He also had consumed three beers that day. Police and prosecutors, he said, treated him like he hit his wife often.

"I had never had a problem in my life. I've never been in jail. I don't do drugs," he said.

G.M. is about halfway through the counseling class. He said he's learning how to react to problems, set family rules and ways to stay calm. But he doesn't find the course particularly useful.

"I don't think the class is helping at all because I was calm before," he said.

G.M. says police and prosecutors went overboard in his case.

"They're just out there for the money. Our problem was really simple. I'm not saying guys don't hit their wives and that wives don't hit their husbands. I see it. It's not always the man," he said.

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Not always but almost always.

Statistics range widely on the percentage of male offenders, but 85 percent appears to be the most generally accepted.

Former Utah Attorney General Jan Graham, who made domestic violence prevention a hallmark of her tenure, says there is a dearth of expertise or focus on treatment for abusers.

" ... Yet the abuser is the only one who can stop the abuse. Victims can't, and that is a truth often ignored," she said.

The gender issue is tricky one, Graham said.

"I used to raise the issue in speeches this way: 'Why do so many men hurt their families, and what are men going to do about it?' It's an uncomfortable speech to give to the Rotary Club."