From Deseret News archives:

Silent victims: Kids who witness abuse face psychological woes

Published: Thursday, March 29, 2007 12:16 p.m. MDT
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And they hit back.

At Primary Children's Medical Center, a 7-year-old child is admitted with two black eyes. Turns out his 14-year-old brother has been beating him with a broom handle — modeling his father's abuse toward his mother.

Julie Bradshaw, director of the hospital's Center for Safe and Healthy Families, said complicated emotional issues surround a case like that.

As in so many domestic violence cases, this 7-year-old child also was victim to other kinds of abuse. But it wasn't the abuse that hurt the child the most.

"The boy wasn't that mad about the sex abuse. He wasn't that mad about the physical abuse. He was mad and hurt that his mother didn't protect him."

The boy had watched the Disney movie "101 Dalmatians," she said. His observations about the movie are heart-breaking. "The dogs protect their puppies," he told Bradshaw. "My mom didn't protect me."

"We are just beginning to become aware of the impact on children who witness violence," said Asha Perek of the YWCA. Children have not been — and some say are still not — at the forefront of the domestic abuse arena.

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People often say children are so resilient.

Yes and no, say experts.

Watching parents hit each other has the same psychological effect on children as if they were beaten themselves, said Joy O'Banion, director of the Family Support and Treatment Center in Orem.

Some, usually girls, will turn inward, suffering from depression, anxiety or sadness. Others, usually boys, will become aggressive, angry and hard to control. Both will fear adults or fear being punished.

"The emotional abuse that goes on with domestic violence is huge," she said.

Yet the psychological needs of children who witness domestic violence often go overlooked, making it more likely they will become future victims and perpetrators. Goldsmith called the cycle of abuse an "absolutely negative chain that is perpetuated by bad things happening to little, tiny kids."

Parents often don't realize the impact it has on children.

"The biggest thing I hear is that kids aren't affected," said Kristin Bennion, a counselor at South Valley Sanctuary, a domestic violence shelter. "They do know what Dad does to Mom."

"If you think your kids don't know what's going on, you are wrong," Brewer said.

Even the state Division of Child and Family Services, the agency charged with child welfare, can miss the mark with young victims.

"Sometimes we minimize the trauma in the children," conceded Mike Boyd, DCFS domestic violence supervisor. "People don't understand the trauma on children when they witness Mom and Dad hurting each other."

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A little girl walks with her mother down a Park City street. The pair earlier escaped an abusive home environment.

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