From Deseret News archives:
Trauma lingers after Orem slaying
Boys still trying to cope with shooting death of mother
"My mom! My mom!" the younger boy screamed.
"How can you get over someone killing your mom right in front of you?" asked a neighbor who watched from across the street.
Five months have passed since that October night. And Dakota and Ryan, who now live with their father, Daniel Nash, in Tucson, Ariz., aren't over it. They may never get over it. But they are learning to live with it, their dad said in a telephone interview.
"They have moments of sorrow. They talk about their mother a lot. Over dinner they'll usually bring up a memory," Nash said.
Last month they celebrated what would have been her 41st birthday. They made a cake, lit candles and sang "Happy Birthday."
"Her urn is in our living room so they can talk with her anytime," Daniel Nash said.
Earlier this month, Keith Morton pleaded guilty to killing Tonja Nash, saving the boys from having to relive the traumatic scene in court.
Nash has remarried since he and Tonja divorced in 2003. He also has a 16-year-old daughter, Danielle, from their marriage. Though the teenager wasn't present during the shooting, she carries an "enormous amount of guilt," he said. She was aware of prior domestic violence between her mom and Morton.
Dakota and Ryan had nightmares early on and have cried out for their mother in the middle of the night. Nash has noticed them on each other's case more than before. But he hasn't seen any signs of depression.
"We haven't gone into massive trauma where the whole family shut down," he said.
The Utah Crime Victim Reparations fund pays for weekly counseling, which Nash considers a blessing because his insurance doesn't provide that benefit. Weekly individual or family sessions are proving beneficial, even for Nash.
"It opened my eyes to how their mind perceives everything. It helps me help them," he said.
Even though he has a wife, Nash, who parted with Tonja amicably, feels a void with the loss of his children's mother.
"We're acting as a family, but in a way I feel alone when it comes to the children because the other half of them is gone. ... Divorce or no divorce, that other parent is there, so that's gone. When I think about what they went through as a father and a parent, I feel the pain they do. I wish I could get in there and pull it away."
E-mail: romboy@desnews.com
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