From Deseret News archives:

Family war zones: Research shows increasing physical and psychological impacts on kids

Published: Thursday, March 29, 2007 12:17 p.m. MDT
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Reporters interviewed dozens of victims, perpetrators, children, judges, police and child and victim advocates. They also talked to state officials, child-welfare workers, prosecutors and shelter workers to determine how the state, the system and the adults who care for them are failing these children.

The five-day series examines these issues within the context of Utah's domestic abuse epidemic. It explores the effort — or lack of effort — by officials to prevent the next generation of abusers and victims, and the implications this may have for the state.

On that Saturday night in January, the police officer is talking to the Mary Davis' boys.

"Do you have someone to talk to? Do you know how to call 9-1-1?"

The older boys say yes.

An uncle whispers to 11-year-old Brian. He is small for his age, pale.

"You OK?"

Brian nods.

"You shouldn't have to see that," the uncle says. "You shouldn't. It's wrong."

On this, every child advocate, every domestic violence expert, every law enforcer and most parents agree: It is wrong. Wrong to argue in front of the kids. Wrong to fight where they can see or hear. Wrong for adults to hit or throw or push each other, especially where children might get caught in the fray.

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"I see kids every day that have been harmed by domestic violence," says Julie Bradshaw, director of the Center for Safe and Healthy Families at Primary Children's Medical Center.

Mary Davis called police after the fight that night but said later she didn't want to make "a molehill a mountain."

She refused help from a victim advocate and told a detective she didn't want to pursue criminal charges. The Salt Lake City Police Department declined to forward the case to prosecutors.

In an interview with the Deseret Morning News six weeks after the incident, Mary blamed herself. She shouldn't have argued with her fiance, she said. She shouldn't have gotten in the middle of a disagreement between the man and his cousin. She should have just let him go. "It was my fault."

Besides, she says, "It was a one-time thing."

DCFS won't talk about individual cases, but Mary says after three meetings with state child welfare officials and an investigation, her case is closed.

She read the domestic abuse materials left by the victim advocate. The pamphlet is worn. "Most of it was for real domestic violence couples," Mary says.

But she knows the content of its pages: how to overcome domestic violence, how to reduce stress, the "Cycles and Dynamics of Domestic Violence," how domestic violence can impact a child.

She watched for signs of distress in her boys. "They're doing OK. I talked to them." As far as the boys modeling her fiance's bad behavior?

"No," Mary says. "They know better."

But here is the problem:

Children watch. They listen. They learn.

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Salt Lake police officer Jennifer Choate takes a domestic violence report at a home where the children, who witnessed the assault, listen.

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