BAD: Big stars are swept up by the drug scandals, including Justin Gatlin, Floyd Landis, Shawn Merriman, Marion Jones and Barry Bonds. As usual, punishment is swift, decisive and evenhanded. Gatlin is banned from track for eight years but is trying out for the NFL, Merriman is voted to the Pro Bowl team and is being considered for Defensive Player of the Year, Bonds continues his march toward baseball's home-run record, Landis retains his Tour de France title so far and Jones' "B" sample mysteriously came back negative after her "A" sample tested positive.

UGLY: Bobby Knight ties Dean Smith's record as college basketball's winningest coach. Knight's accomplishment is tough to accept for anyone who believes it's not whether you win, but how you play the game, which in his case meant bullying everything in his path.

STUPID: Mike Tyson, 40 and fading, announces his future bouts might be against women. After that: Kids.

GOOD: Utah and BYU wage a game for the ages and afterward put on a clinic in sportsmanship. Eric Weddle, among others, goes out of his way to congratulate the Utes' archrivals on the field.

BAD: Peter Corroon, the Salt Lake County mayor who vowed for weeks not to approve the use of tax dollars to build a soccer stadium, pulls the old double reverse play and approves it.

UGLY: Bode Miller, expected to win five medals at the Torino Olympics despite admitting that he occasionally races while drunk and didn't train hard, collects zero medals and acts like the Olympics are just a hassle. He boasts that he partied hard and late "at an Olympic level."

STUPID: The NBA replaces its synthetic ball, which had replaced its leather ball, with a leather ball. Follow? Welcome to the sports equivalent of New Coke.

GOOD: Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby champ, is at death's door after breaking his leg in the Preakness last May, but he's beat the odds so far and could leave the hospital soon.

BAD: France's Zinedine Zidane head butts an Italian rival in the World Cup final.

UGLY: O.J. Simpson and Judith Regan decide to publish a book called, "If I Did It," a look at how Simpson would have murdered his wife and her friend if he had (ahem) done it. The book is canceled and Regan fired.

STUPID: Larry Brown is fired as Knicks coach after fulfilling one year of a five-year contract but collects $28.5 million for his work, including an $18.5 million buyout.

GOOD: Joey Cheek, Apolo Ohno, Lindsey Kildow and Utah's Ted Ligety are the Bode antidote in Torino. They are gracious, glad to be there and gutty (oh, and they also collect a few gold medals).

BAD: Terrell Owens.

UGLY: The NBA features Brawl II, starring the Nuggets, Knicks and superstar Carmelo "Hit and Run" Anthony. College football features a brawl between Miami and Florida International. Hockey has a few brawls, too, but since when is that news?

STUPID: Five Major League Baseball players join the $100 million club, bringing the total to 14, but most disturbing is the awarding of inflated contracts to average players — $50 million to Gary Matthews, a career .263 hitter with seven different teams; $40 million to Ted Lilly, a pitcher with a 59-58 career record and 4.60 ERA; $24.5 million to Adam Eaton, who has never won more than 11 games or posted an ERA lower than 4.00; $33.75 million to Vicente Padilla, a 66-61/4.06 pitcher; $55 million to Gil Meche, who owns a career ERA of 4.65 and has never pitched more than 200 innings in a season. Moral of the story: Forget an education; get your kid a glove.

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E-mail: drob@desnews.com