Pastor says he's 'deceiver, liar'

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — The former president of the National Evangelical Association confessed that he is "guilty of sexual immorality" in an apology letter read Sunday to tearful worshipers at his New Life Church.

"I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life," wrote Ted Haggard, 50, who was fired Saturday as head of the 14,000-member church.

Haggard, accused last week by a gay prostitute of monthly encounters and illicit drug use for three years, gave no specifics. He wrote that the allegations by Mike Jones of Denver "are not all true, but enough of them are true" that his dismissal was justified.

Haggard, who also resigned as president of the 30-million-member National Association of Evangelicals, was absent Sunday from the church he founded. His letter was read from the pulpit by Pastor Larry Stockstill of Bethany World Prayer Center in Baker, La., head of an independent board of overseers that fired Haggard. Children under middle-school age were sent out beforehand.

"I know your hearts are broken," Stockstill said. "This is the way God works in his house," with love but discipline.

In a separate letter to "Women of New Life Church," Haggard's wife, Gayle, wrote that she remains committed to her husband "until death 'do us part.' We started this journey together, and with the grace of God we will finish together."

An overflow crowd of more than 7,500 applauded after Haggard's statement was read. They gave his wife's message a standing ovation.

Jones, 49, went public last week. He told Denver's KUSA-TV that he learned Haggard was a religious leader after seeing the client he knew as "Art" on a History Channel program months ago. Jones said he came forward to expose Haggard's hypocrisy in supporting a gay-marriage ban on the Colorado ballot Tuesday.

Haggard first denied knowing Jones and later said he never had sex with him. In interviews, the pastor said he had paid Jones for a massage and for methamphetamine. Haggard said he was tempted to use the drugs but never did.

The overseers said they had determined "without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct." They did not mention drugs.

Haggard asked church members to "forgive my accuser. He is revealing the deception and sensuality that was in my life. ... He didn't violate you; I did."